[Spoken: Sm00ve]
Why do I expect for shit to change when I know I'm not livin' right?
But what's right? 'Cause see, I'm used to doin' what I seen or what I thought I saw
N***as hustlin', gettin' that quick money at the expense of neglectin' what's real, It's a vicious cycle
Y'know what I mean, bein' fathered by the streets
Mothers can't be mothers when they're forced to be providers
Why do we aspire to be inspired by things we can't afford?
Enough is never enough 'cause you know there's always more
But shit, I may not see the light of day to experience what he has in store
For me, the paranoia and the stress has become second nature
Shit, that's why I smoke
I tolerate all this just to make sure I don't struggle as much as I did last month
Insufficient, unstable, random, dope money inconsistent
I'm sure it was only temporary for everybody else who attempted it before you
I can get a O just to be on E with no cash to buy another vowel
Oh, now i'm back to why I started
A pocket full of hope and a decision to make
My grandmother always told me to walk a straight path and God will walk with you
No wonder I've yet to see his shadow
Forgive me Lord, it's just me, myself, and I in this dark room
But my thoughts illuminate the landscape
I can't relax, I can't sleep, I can't rest
'Cause my mind is busy runnin' a marathon
Mistakes I made, rewind, and replay
I come to you on hand and knee, askin' you for your forgiveness
I comin' to you- on hand and knee askin' you for your strength
I come to you on hand and knee, askin' you for your confidence
I come to you on hand and knee, askin' you for your love
I want to feel that love when I look in the mirror
'Cause I was created in your image, I'm hear to serve you
My mother named me Joshua for a reason, it was no coincidence
I just pray I establish enough sense to know that cents means nothin', hypocrisy