Tobuscus
Literal Dead Island 2 Trailer
Playstation, Deep Silver... still

Get a good look at the road I’ma run on
Shoes tied nice, make sure there’s no dirt on ‘em
Yeah. That’s perfect.

Check it out, both legs, kick it out, get ready
Stretch it out, close-up on the bulge, do the washing machine
Close-up on the bulge, feel the bulge, pat the bulge, good bulge
Living the dream
Crack the neck twice

(Oh no) Perfect eyebrows? Check
Perfect teeth? Check
(Oh no) Perfect hair that blows in the wind? Check
(Oh no) Insignificant flesh wound? Cover it up with the white and gold
(Oh no) Turn it up, show the gold
Yeah

Close up on a Picture-Perfect Fitness Guy
Listenin’ to music while he exercises
Look down at his muscles periodically
Gotta make sure that he’s the best thing on the beach

I‘ma jog right until I throw up (hooo)
I’ma jog right until I throw up
Sees a lady, indicates he got a sweet six-pack
Assume that she liked it, but don’t look back
She didn’t like that, she don’t like it neither
When a couple zombies come out and start to eat her
I’ma jog right until I throw up (hooo)
I’ma jog right until I throw up
I’ma jog right until I throw up (hoo hoo!)
I’ma jog right until I throw up

Then Hawaiian Shirt Hat Guy’s shotgun blasts
Kill every zombie in the whole city, ‘cept that one
And the ones in the background, there’s a lot, actually
He failed. He’s dead. That sucks. Sh**.

Here comes the VIP zombies on their stretch limo
Disregarding safety, doing Venice Beach donuts
Lumberjacking limo driver fells a tree
A news helicopter shoots in 360 degrees

Thank the zombies for the aerial shot (hooo)
This segment’s probably gonna blow up!
Oh no
Oh no

Then Picture-Perfect Fitness Guy gets varicose veins
Still living the dream, just with less living
Crack the neck two more times, and then
Open up and show them pearly whites again

Zombie loses his new Donald Trump wig
Arm rejects artificial bicep thing
I’ma jog right until I throw up (ooh!)
Zombie eyes then start to fog up!
Picture-Perfect Fitness Guy’s slightly less perfect now
Hawaiian Shirt Hat Guy looks about the same (grandma!)
Car-Jumping Zombie jumps on a car (that’s his thing)
Hot-Hot Roller Skating Zombie starts spinning (baseball bat swing!)

Someone call security! Oh, you did
Someone call the zombie with the boogie board! Oh, you did
Someone call Scooby Doo! How is that relevant?
Why don’t you ask him yourself?

From the background comes the Mystery Machine
‘Cause Scooby Doo’s team’s not afraid of nothin’
It’s time for your close-up
Darkness. Darkness. Darkness.

Well, at least I still have my shoes. Heh.
Aaaaaaw maaaan. What is that sound?
You- oh, you betta not- you put - you put my foot down.
You ain’t not gon’ take my shoes.. man!
I lost my toupee, my implanted bicep, and this man just pull up in the Mystery Machine?!
Man...

‘Get the body you deserve’, says the perfect picture of the Picture-Perfect Guy from back when Picture-Perfect Guy was picture perfect
Picture perfect!
Picture perfeeeeeeeeeeect- ah! (oh no)
Oh no
Oh no
Oh no