[Verse 1]
Climate change but a chance
We're gonna have a white one this year
Polar bears in the North Pole fear that the end is near
If the world's crumbling then why everybody got a Christmas tree
In their living room
While takin' up energy talkin'
About how we humans do so

[Chorus]
All I really want this Christmas
Is a sense of humor
To get me through this haze
'Cause optimism makes me feel so crazed in a daze
Tipsy in a Christmas maze
Like a rat in a Santa hat
Please don't let it faze me
All I really want this Christmas

[Verse 2]
Christmas
Is a sense of humor
To get me through the holidays
And I never wanna see the bottom of my glass
So keep it comin'
Make it fun 'n' not a pain in the ass
Things on my mind become magnified
'Round this time of year
What happened to the good old days of the
Claymation Rudolph the Reindeer?
Back before the Recession
Back before I questioned
If Santa Claus was fake or real
If swine flu would make me squeal

[Chorus]
All I really want this Christmas
Is a sense of humor
To get me through this haze
'Cause optimism makes me feel so crazed in a daze
Tipsy in a Christmas maze
Like a rat in a Santa hat
Please don't let it faze me
All I really want this Christmas

[Bridge]
Christmas
I'm flyin' to LA
Spend it with my exes
All cozy underneath the mistletoe
With their new girlfriends
But things are lookin' up for me
There's a gift for me under the Christmas tree
I wonder, wonder what it could be
Let's open it up and see
[Chorus]
All I really want this Christmas
Is a sense of humor
To get me through this haze
'Cause optimism makes me feel so crazed in a daze
Tipsy in a Christmas maze
Like a rat in a Santa hat
Please don't let it faze me
All I really want this Christmas

All I really want this Christmas
Is a sense of humor
To get me through this haze
'Cause optimism makes me feel so crazed in a daze
Tipsy in a Christmas maze
Like a rat in a Santa hat
Please don't let it faze me
All I really want this Christmas