You've heard every kind of corny line
You're so fine, you're so unfashionable
You've been everywhere a thousand times
You're so cool
So international

Captured as a stow away
Upon the QE2
Two weeks at sea alone
So many miles away from home

These are the strange and exciting adventures of
Secret agent, secret love
Weird and impossible but totally true
I think I'm secretly in love with you

You speak Russian and Chinese too
Get all the kids to start a revolution
Dangerous work but it's what you do
You're not the problem
You're the solution

Trained in all the martial arts
(Adept in many fields)
I know you feel the same
So what's your real name (I know it)
These are the strange and exciting adventures of
Secret agent, secret love
Weird and impossible but totally true
I think I'm secretly in love with you

Trapped within the prison walls
Of foreign agencies
They think you can't get free
Only to have you escape to me

These are the strange and exciting adventures of
Secret agent, secret love
Weird and impossible but totally true
I think I'm secretly in love with you
I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you