[Verse 1]
He said I wasn't going to heaven
Then I'll see him down in hell
I thought I was going to heaven
Now it's very hard to tell

[Chorus 1]
I hold these views, but I get no respect
Theo says that's not theologically correct

[Verse 2]
My grandmother's up there waiting
She spoke to me one night
She said "there are millions of us praying
That you will be alright."

[Chorus 1]
I hold these views, but I get no respect
Theo says that's not theologically correct

[Verse 3]
Jesus spoke to me only once
Audibly for sure
When I was down on my luck
He offered me the cure
He said, "This trial is over"
I haven't heard that voice since then
We both agree I'm a sinner
And what happens in the end

[Chorus 1]
I hold these views, but I get no respect
Theo says that's not theologically correct
Here we go! Here we go! Waaa!

[Guitar Solo]

[Verse 4]
Had a quarter in my pocket
I pumped way too much gas
Like those bread and fishies
My little quarter turned to cash

[Chorus 1]
I hold these views, but I get no respect
Theo says that's not theologically correct
Down!

[Verse 5]
I said that God's a mystery
So much it's hard to tell
Theo said I wasn't going to heaven
Then I'll see him down in hell

[Chorus 2]
I hold these views but I get no respect
I guess that we just don't philosophically connect

[Outro]
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Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah