Ameer Vann
Emmanuel
[Verse 1]
It's so hard to say, "I'm sorry," it's so hard to self reflect
Make the world a better place, I'll put a bullet in my head
I'm still runnin' outta friends, steady runnin' from the past
Ain't no lil' piece of heaven, all these demons that I have
I am broken, I am tired, I am lonely and depressed
I am made up of mistakes, I'll start goin' down the list
I'm a product of my father, I'm a addict like my sister
I'm so sick, I need a doctor
Spent some time in institutions back at home with my mama
Had to run away to Houston
Had a girl, she was a goddess, I fucked up and had to lose her
I see darkness all around me, put my soul into the music
I am always fuckin' doubting my every single movement
I saw violence in my home, I seen shit I can't forget
I got anxieties and tendencies and memories repressed
Rip this shit up off my chest, put these bullets in a clip
Press the muzzle to my face and pull the trigger, now I'm—
It's so hard to end it all, I wanna try to make it right
It's so hard to live at all, all these obstacles in life
Make it hard for us all, made a fuck-up of my life
I'd give anything at all to take back a little time

[Verse 2]
I'm a beast, I'm a dog, I'm a runaway slave
I'm like Malcolm, I'm like Martin bein' locked in a cage
Tell Jesus, "Come and save me, I got goals and a pager"
Misdemeanors on the papers, El Dorados on the Daytons
See me float above the pavement
I'm a fuckin' mental patient, that's my fuckin' mission statement
I've been sittin', waitin' patient
I can hear what n***as sayin', send me curses, see me prayin'
I could sell a blunt to Satan, all these trenches that I lay in
All this chaos that I stay in, see my fate and know it's waitin'
This a new beginning, call me Jesus, king of n***as
My sermon is delivered, rollin' swishers, writin' scriptures
Many pains and many issues, this my written crucifixion
I'ma sing a song of David, I remember Wayne and Baby
I done seen them n***as leakin'
Screamin', "Jesus, come and save me"
I don't know if I'ma make it, I just know that life ain't easy
Gettin' harder while I'm breathin'
N***as die inside of Beamers, they don't even need a reason
Guns clappin', get to squeezin'
N***as killin', it ain't easy
Rent due and it ain't easy
Call his name, but he ain't breathin'
Mama cryin', it ain't easy
Hard times, it ain't easy
It ain't easy