[Verse 1]
He's young, he's old, he's inbetween and he's so very much confused
He'll scrounge around and protest all day long
He joins the pickets at Berkeley, and he burns up his draft card
And he's twisted into thinking fightin' is all wrong

[Refrain]
(Universal coward)

[Verse 2]
He's a pacifist, an extremist
A communist or just a yank
A demonstrator, an agitator, just a knave
A conscientious objector, a fanatic or a defector
And he doesn't know he's diggin' his own his grave

[Refrain]
(Universal coward)

[Verse 3]
Aww, he just can’t get it through his thick skull why the mighty U.S.A
Has got to be the watchdog of the world
Else that greedy U.S.S.R. will bury us from afar
And he’ll never see the missiles bein’ hurled

[Refrain]
(Universal coward)
[Verse 4]
He’s the universal coward, and he runs from anything
From a giant, from a human, from an elf
He runs from Uncle Sam
He runs from Vietnam
But most of all he’s runnin’ from himself
(Universal coward)