[Verse 1: Jamie Madrox]
Daddy, I'm high as a cloud, floatin', lookin' to touch
Anything soft enough I can bust my nuts on
Like them average ass titties of yours
Now I done seen many, many pairs of titties before
But them titties right there look suckable to me
With the nipple in the middle where the sucker supposed to be
She got a kinda bangin' booty, kinda more not than so
If I don't drop this load, my nuts are gonna explode

[Verse 2: Monoxide]
Now I'm stoned sober in a room full of ugly
And all I wanna do is get some ass tonight
And if I play my cards right and smoke this weed
Then I'll be swimmin' in some ass like the tsunami
And it won't matter if she kinda looks like a he
'Cause as long as I stay high, they're all dimes to me
Bumpin' Ron Isley in the truck with the tree
Gettin' high, hopin' this ugly bitch will fuck me

[Chorus: Monoxide & Jamie Madrox]
Now you look like Madonna with a splash of J-Lo
Mixed with Halle Berry and some Anna Nicole
'Cause when I'm smokin', every girl I see seems to be so off the chain
A little Gwen Stefani and some Fergie and Britney
Charlize Thereon with some Angelina Jolie
'Cause when I'm smokin', every girl I see seems to be so off the chain
[Verse 3: Monoxide]
Sometimes, we would get high in the back
And there'd always be this girl with a super nipple rack
And I wouldn't hit it with a bat if I'm not stoned
But fuck it, since I'm high, little ugly got boned
I'm in the zone, I'm high, kinda trippin' off of this
Everywhere that I look's a fine bitch
Goddamnit, I love this weed
'Cause every last bitch look good to me

[Verse 4: Jamie Madrox]
Beauty is skin deep, and ugly is to the bone
Ain't no reason that bangin' ass need to be havin' pants on
I like that upside down heart that lives inside your G-string
Packed to the max with needful things
Like coochie and butt, watch it jiggle and such
As she walks by with that runway strut
I'm mesmerized on how much ass calf and thighs
You managed to stuff inside them Levi's

[Chorus: Monoxide & Jamie Madrox]
You look like Jenna Jameson and Vivica Foxy
With a dash of Vida Guerra and Beyonce
'Cause when I'm smokin', every girl I see seems to be so off the chain
A little Paris Hilton and some Gretchen Wilson
With a splash of Ashlee n' Jessica Simpson
'Cause when I'm smokin', every girl I see seems to be so off the chain
[Verse 5: Jamie Madrox]
Your lips are just so soft and supple
I'm willin' to bet the farm she got a tight moose knuckle
I'm seein' so many turkeys that I wouldn't mind stuffin'
Like that one right here, I bet you she like it rough and hard
And if she wanna cuddle right quick
Turn an indoor ho into an outdoor trick
Let her suck your dick in a public bathroom
While there's other people on the side of you, takin' a doo

[Verse 6: Monoxide]
Now I'm walking through the mall and I'm high as the sun
And I swear this bitch's ass is looking like a Cinnabun
And then I go and get a pretzel from Aunt Annie's
Then I fell in love with her flabby fanny
I'm gettin' outta here before my penis gets hard
And I get thrown out by the security guards
Feeling like a retard, I'm horny and high
But I'm almost out of weed, so I'm sayin' goodbye