[Verse 1]
Conservative Christian
Right wing Republican
Straight, white, American males
Gay-bashing, black-fearing
Poor-fighting, tree-killing
Regional leaders of sales
Frat-housin', keg-tappin'
Back slappin'
Haters of hippies like me
Tree-huggin', peace-lovin'
Pot-smokin', porn-watchin'
Lazy-ass hippies like me

[Verse 2]
Tree-huggin', peace-lovin'
Pro-choicin', gay-weddin'
Widespread Panic-diggin' hippies like me
Skin color-blinded
Conspiracy-minded
Protestors of corporate greed
We who have nothing
And most likely will 'til
We all end up locked up in jails
By conservative Christian
Right wing Republican
Straight, white, American males
[Chorus]
Diamonds and dogs, boys and girls
Living together in two separate worlds
Following leaders up mountains of shame
Looking for someone to blame
I know who I like to blame

[Verse 3]
Conservative Christian
Right wing Republican
Straight, white, American males
Gay-bashing, black-fearing
Poor-fighting, tree-killing
Regional leaders of sales
Quite diligently
Workin' so hard to keep
The free reins of this democracy
From tree-huggin', peace-lovin'
Pot-smokin', porn-watchin'
Lazy-ass hippies like me

[Outro]
Tree-huggin', peace-lovin'
Pot-smokin', porn-watchin'
Lazy-ass hippies like me
Tree-huggin', peace-lovin'
Pot-smokin', porn-watchin'
Lazy-ass hippies like me
Tree-huggin', peace-lovin'
Barefoot and folk-singin'
Lazy-ass hippies like me
Y'all, thank you for being so nice to us
God love you now
Have a good time