Todd Snider
Incarcerated
[Verse 1]
My baby mother been incarcerated
Otherwise she would have been here today
To testify that every word I stated
While it may be complicated is still true in a way
You see this woman here today
I hardly even know her
Okay, maybe once or twice I mighta give her a lift
But she never lent me any money, your honor
Every penny that she gave me she said was a gift
She said that it was a gift
She said it was a gift
My baby mother been incarcerated

[Verse 2]
She had some trouble with an interstate cop
Who said he saw her driving by obliterated
And was further flusterated (sic) by the way she wouldn't stop
So they called out all the other cops
And had a high-speed chase
They chased my baby through the side of a tree
That's when I think they might have planted marijuana in her suitcase
A court appointed lawyer told us, cop a plea
So we copped a plea
We copped a plea
My baby mother been incarcerated
[Chorus]
I never had a lot of luck with the ladies, your honor
I never had a lot of luck with much of anything
My baby mother want to drive a Mercedes, your honor
My baby mother want to wear a bunch a diamond rings
She knows damn well I can't afford these things
Ah!

[Verse 3]
My baby mother been incarcerated
I'm kinda glad if I could tell you truth
But that don't have a whole lot here to do with this matter you see
This woman here today, she just don't have any proof
I don't know whose voice that could be there on her telephone recorder
Maybe her brother or some other friend who is in on it too
Maybe the same old friend
Who came and helped her forge my signature
Because that is not my signature, I'm telling you the truth
I am telling you the truth
I'm telling you the truth
My baby mother been incarcerated

[Chorus 2]
I understand about the verdict and everything, your honor
You're just doing your job and that's alright with me
Just one more thing before I leave for all my friends and my family
Can you tell me when this particular episode is gonna be on TV
I'm gonna be on TV
[Outro]
Nobody suffers like the poor people suffer
Nobody suffers like the poor people suffer
Nobody suffers like the poor people suffer
Nobody suffers like the poor people suffer