I'm sober on St. Patrick's Day
Is there a crueler fate than this?
I doubt it

I'm sober on St. Patrick's Day
Every pub I see around
Is crowded

And the people they all say
There's got to be a better way

But I'm broke as fuck
Down on my luck
Don't even have a nickel
In my pocket

Can't find a lick of liquor
Guess I'll be on my merry way
Without it

But then Terry gives me a call
And he says his keg is full
Well that's all he had to say

I'm getting fucked up on St. Patrick's day
Get the fuck out of my way
I'm loaded
Fucked up on St. Patrick's day
Punch my buddy
In the fucking nutsack

Taking a shit off the roof
Drinking home made liquor
I don't know the proof

Yeah I'm fucked up
Hey what up
Let's go flip
That fuckin’ taco truck

Fucked up on St. Patrick's Day
There's tacos flying everywhere
Aw fuck yeah

Good old fashioned taco fight
Just like back in the olden times
In Dublin

Terry's got a fresh bottle
Of Malort in the trunk
But he can't find his keys
And now he's blowing chunks
People making comments
That we're sloppy drunks
But it's St. Patrick's Day
And we don’t give a fuck

We're fucked up on St. Patrick's day
Get the fuck out of our way we're loaded