Jarv
Alright
So recently I had a thing with this chick
She was built like a brick shit-house, dumb as a brick
I really thought I liked her, but I really must admit
I don't really think I did, I just liked giving her love
We were chilling non-stop for just over a month
That’s not a long time, but still, it was enough
For me to become well-aware she was just another sleazy-ass (what?!)
Dumb slag, bag of dung, conceded-ass raggamuff
Batter up, ‘bout to hit it out the park- MISS
This woman took a shit upon my heart- BITCH
She's a man-eater, oh, the broad's slick
Just another initial upon a long list
Yeah, I lied when you asked how many women I'd been with
You're gonna have to add a couple extra hands
I've had many before you and I'll have many after
Not saying I'm the shit, not claiming to be the man, I’m just saying
Listen, you may not be as special as you think
And I know that's what you think ‘cause you don't think about much
It sucks the way it turned out, I know baby, it's tough
I went on tour for ten days and you couldn't wait to get stuffed
I'm usually not the type to gripe or hold a grudge
But saying sorry was the least ya’ coulda done
Instead, you decided you would try and make me feel like I was crazy
Because I politely asked you what was up- Yup
And then she sends me a pic of that new kid she's with
Thinking it would make me jealous and pissed- Well it did
But still, I'm not about to give the bitch the satisfaction
Of knowing I give a fuck about who she interacts with
I bask in a haze of love and hate coagulating
I hate your fucking attitude but, babe, you're rather banging
With your newly pierced nips and your platinum died hair
You can quit watching my story, stupid bitch- You think I care? (Yes)
I know that I've been saying that she's dumb and that it's typical
But when it comes to being dumb this cunt is on the pinnacle
Oh wait I shouldn't say that, the C-word offends her
Why am I even talking about this cunt? I can't remember
One time waking up, dude, she had me weak
She actually asked me if hippos had teeth
Yo, what do you mean?? Please tell me that you're kidding
I know you must be thinking, "wow, she sounds really witty"
But wait, I got some more- One night when she was over
She said she wanted to play some video games and I said, "oh word?"
Heck yeah is what I thought initially but no, sir
She didn't know how to hold an N64 controller
So I showed her the right way- Of course she got offended
I might have told a joke- Of course she didn't get it
She said that I was crazy, I proceeded laughing
“How is it my fault that you don't understand sarcasm?”
And how's about that time you said that Hannah was a slut
And you would both be at this party and you wanted to fuck her up
And I said, "no, you really shouldn't, c'mon chill, don't stress"
And then a week later on instagram, you say you're BFFs?
Ahh yes, of course- Hey, whenever you feel the need
You can grab your bottle of lube and clean your lipstick off my sheets
Am I being too harsh? Am I being too mean?
If you didn't do me like you did I wouldn't be
You see, she's just another zombie- Little dumb blondie
Try to watch a movie, but she never stops talking
You came and got your ring- I gave away your watch
Looking basic in my driveway drinking an iced coffee
Go and find a hobby- Superficial, snobby-
Hoes, don't ya' know play the role of the prom queen
I musta’ been caught up in all of the sucking and swallowing
‘Cause otherwise these dumb sluts got nothing to offer me

Obviously, I’m not talking about all women
I respect women- I just don’t respect you
You know who you are
Fuck you and you suck