[Round 1: Shuffle T]
First of all, I just want to thank Don't Flop for giving me this enormous star
Can I please get your autograph, can you please sign my daughter's bra
I only took this battle so we can finally get to talk at last
I love all of your awesome bars that leave your opponents torn in half
I just think-oh sorry mate you're actually not who I thought you are
Sorry
I bet even though it's battle rap that hurts
I thought he was Howard Brown from the Halifax advert
(Who gives you Don't Flop Extra)
Now your try-out was a sequence of boring, awkward speeches
The hardest battle I've ever judged for all the wrong reasons
What a fucking beg
He has beg on toast for begfast and he begs for dinners
He only goes to a church so he can beg forgiveness
He sits outside of a Tescos then he begs for liquor
You can tell him he's a beg I bet he'll beg to differ
Now let me put this into a language you know, dramatically slow
You're bad cause you're actually a practical joke
Everyone here is effectively pranking your phone
And you're too fucking stupid to hang up and go
But you called me out cause you hate me
But me and Marlo refreshed the scene
Don't get me wrong I'm not saying we're the best the league has ever seen
But at the very least we made your weak bars seem extra weak
So don't you dare come today and labor any scheme
About football, hockey or table tennis teams
Football schemes have been done!
Fuck sake
You reuse old lines in the worst way
That makes you out to be a fucking bird brain
Oh, one second {answer phone}
Hello? Yeah it's Eurgh mate from Don't Flop's 1st Birthday
Turns out they want back all of the wordplay
Reusing old lines is so stupid it hurts
He doesn't seem to care if somebody was using them first
He said, "I've just written a song for something new in the works."
He started doing a verse and I knew all the words
I'd start calling you a cunt but you're the sort of cunt
That when you're calling him a cunt, he's like, "Yeah I'm a cunt"
It's like, "No, you're a fucking cunt."
Just to reiterate; you are a fucking cunt
You're attention-seeking, pathetic and did I mention, you're a fucking cunt?
Fuck your claim to fame, bitch it's over, Big Brother's done
You've had your 15 minutes and you don't get another one
[Round 2: Shuffle T]
When people say I kill it they mean that I have been a threat
When people say you kill it they mean the vibe of the event
Like when this battle was confirmed, you should've seen what this pleb had fucking tweeted
"The rest is up to God", you fucking nob, you think He'd ever come between us?
Like he's going to come to a rap battle, in Brixton, and let the fucking Second Coming greet us
Do you believe whatever stuff the priest says?
Were you told by a vicar that if you could have sex and suck his penis you'd get extra hugs from Jesus?
Oh yeah, God's up there now going, "Hmmm, there's that Syrian war I should really handle
Where ah kids get hit with bits of shrapnel
But first I better visit Bagnall to make Anton Murphy win a battle
"C'mon Jesus let's hit the chapel!"
It's straight pathetic, you crave attention like David Brent in that training session
This goes to all try outs, pay attention
Wait a second and play defensive
Don't Flop's stage is set but you make an effort before you make an entrance
Coming into the league guns blazing everywhere, statements sent
About taking heads won't get you fame, respect or pay your debts
So go and make your threats
But it's safe to reckon for you the game is ending
For trying to fuck with Posh like David Beckham
And why are you always going on about going to a top university like that's important shit?
You're privately educated, of course you did
Oh, what? You didn't know?
Yeah his mum paid for him to go to private school
Just check his Big Brother admission tape he admits it straight
That's why none of your insults about class can intimidate
It's ironic I was state educated and my class is in the middle range
But when I learned how to finger paint you learned how to figure skate
No really mate, his pirouette and figure eight is frigging great
Back at lunch he'd hang with the pope and sit and wait
And if his salad and roasted chicken steaks are a matter of only minutes late
He's angrily throwing dinner plates
School trips away to all 50 states, a frigging sleigh for Christmas Day
You're so posh you finished everything you say with "sil-vous-plait?"
But I thought he's from the streets, that's what got his presence so large
Well fine I'm from Berkshire, bitch that's why I go hard
Yeah, you might not expect it but I've seen some things in those parts
Last December I was just walking through an old park
I look over to see an man going through a lone path
Out in the cold dark and he was wearing no scarf
My life's been pretty tough so far
But that's some crap I had to live with
The house that I grew up in only ever had six rooms
Having a tiny house put the butler in a big mood
So every now and then he would serve us really shit food
Like fish stew
You see he wants us segregated, but that's not what Don't Flop is
Separated, but if you want us locked in boxes I've got the lock pick
See when I drop this hot shit it'll make Locksmyth
Drop his Fosters than John Smith off quicker than a hot chip, obnoxious
On my Mos Prob shit if he got pissed
Watch my dogs rip your fox quick
I'll Clockwork Orange you to repeatedly watch Grist in a mosh pit
Of 14 year old fanboy posh kids
Just to reiterate, you are a fucking cunt
You're attention-seeking, pathetic and did I mention you're a fucking cunt?
You're a fucking cunt, you're fucking cunt, you're a fucking cunt, you're a fucking cunt
Die, die, die, die, die, die you fucking cunt
[Round 3: Shuffle T]
Thanks for the free tea I needed some PG's
People been calling this a grudge match, this isn't a grudge match
This is a 15 minuter trying to make his comeback of something that he sucks at
Motherfucking thug rap
You ain't got the will from hubcaps to dust flaps to mud caps
Bruv that's stuff that you just lack
So fuck that and fuck anyone saying that this guy's harder
I'm smarter, my mind's sharper than the top of a trident
You can't conquer Poseidon or topple the giant
I've got the knowledge of Mayan scholars and writers on the horizon
A philosopher's mind and a doctor of science
I'm Thomas Aquinas with God on my side like Protestant choirs
Saying this was a good match up is a horrible lie
I only took this battle cause it was comically timed
The hatred that I have for you is not a disguise
I'm disgusted to say you even share this hobby of mine
You hungry for fame and over confident brick
Prick
Honestly brother if all you want is to get big
Then go hop in a whip and drive it off of a cliff
Think about it, there's pros and cons to this shit
Like you won't probably live but it's a great way to make some Twitter followers click
And for us, you dying is a fucking positive thing
Thought his try out was a classic, but it wasn't the script of Gone With The Wind
The only reason he didn't temple tap is because he's a dick and he'd probably miss
Dreams of being a celebrity, head shoved up his arse
Dreams of being a successfully newly discovered star
Well you won't make that status off the strength of your current bars
You're Steve Baldwin, without Big Brother no one would know who the fuck you are
And they said you were a snake on Big Brother, you had to stoop that low
The real you is only someone you can know
We had 24 hour surveillance on you at home
And we still didn't get to see the Truman Show
So I know you feel like not everything is right with the world
I know you feel like you'll never get the hype that you've earned
I actually felt for him, until I saw this guy had the nerve
To get into a fucking bar fight with a girl
Pathetic
And threatening women and kids on Twitter online is the worst
This is you getting the fucked up life you deserve
And in the club when you catch a girl's eye and you flirt
It might help if you don't Mike Tyson her first
Threatening women on Twitter is what is what this guy might tweet
Hitting girls in the club with a mai tai knee
Thrown out like he didn't have the right ID
Check it out everybody it's a pint-sized Bleek
But he acts like he loves the hate it fuels him, he can't get enough
Then went on Big Brother and they booed him and that set him up
He went writing his diary in his room and got upset as fuck
And we saw him crying over the booze like a depressive drunk
Now don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against a man that cries until he's getting panda eyes
We all get kinda sad inside, I've had my times, but on Big Brother?...on Channel 5?
...And it's live?
Where's your dignity? You're way too easily antagonized
He goes from tough to effeminate it's absurd to see the paradigm
In a couple of seconds he goes from Hercules to pantomime
So fuck the pretending you don't deserve to see my battle rhymes
Until you stop being so fucking pathetic and you can learn to be a man inside
But the truth is, I don't even hate you Anton, fuck it I don't know how to
Cause me hating you would be like me hating on a statue
It just makes me look bad and there's no added value
On hating you, when I don't know the first thing about you
I mean as battlers, we have characters and that could be said to me
But he's too far gone he's had his mask on as far back as his memory
So that his attempt to be a celebrity is all a wanker like Anton will ever be
And so you should fucking look at yourself in the mirror
And ask are you happy with that as your legacy
AND!
If you don't want people to bring up Big Brother in a fucking battle
Then don't go on Big Brother or don't fucking battle
Time!