Lefty: Aight, yo. Shuffle-T and Marlo

Big J: Are you gonna do that mixing up their name thing?

Lefty: You know what, I was Bruv but they're just, they're just hard though Bruv

Big J: Trust me man. Coz Marlo, you're such a G that if you went to Jamaica for a week they'd let you say 'Char' and 'Warblo'

Lefty: Shuffle-T is such a G his Easter egg was luxury. We'll swag this out comfortably. See you man are hard but, the only time you're touching weed is when you're actually touching weed

Big J: But I've always been gangsta as shit, I'm about that. But I wanna be you, I want a long coat that looks like a dressing gown(a). That I could wear to bed and take out man. And I want long wavy hair that I can brush and blowdry after I get out the shower. Truths out now

Lefty: Trust me man, coz I wanna be like you. It's a shame we're just proud guys. But I wish I was brave enough to wear my inside clothes outside

Big J: But what's good Brudda. You look like a good Brudda. You look like you've got a good mudda. And a good fadda

Lefty: You look like you've got mad swag. No, seriously Bruv, you've got MAD swag. The last even I seen him rocking the coldest Winklepickers and the hardest man bag. HARD BRUV. You look like a mad swagged out Johnny Depp granddad

Big J: You're shoe game is sick! Oi Left we need to get some shoes like this

Lefty: They ain't shoes they're slippers

Big J: They're not slippers bruv they're flippers

Lefty: They're not flippers, they're just... Different
Big J: I mean Blud, wagwarn for that long coat. I wanna rock that long coat. I wanna buy that long coat. Give me that long coat

Lefty: Allow him man, that's not even a coat, it's a robe

[Round 1: Shuffle T]
Let's start with a lethal doubles back and forth
We thought we were battling Mr. 13

[Marlo]
That's who me and Shuffle were planning for

[Shuffle T]
But he backed out

[Marlo]
But don't get it twisted, it wasn't even underhand at all

[Shuffle T]
He's got a lot on his plate

[Marlo]
Promoting Don't Flop on the way

[Shuffle T]
So his decision not to battle is completely understandable
Once we realized instead we had to battle two of the fakest dudes
We were more than pissed with the way the situation brewed
So we thought, "Fuck it. I think that it's time we break the rules."
[Marlo]
So Lefty

[Shuffle T]
And Big J

[Both]
Hahaha... April Fools

[Shuffle T]
Sorry about that joke didn't know quite if we should

[Marlo]
But seriously, how are you guys? Are you good?

[Shuffle T]
Now let's drop all the crap, we were honored and glad to be offered this match

[Marlo]
I've finally gotten to hang with the popular lads like I promised my dad

[Shuffle T]
Honestly man, they're not just a comedy act, they properly rap
Their top priority is topical and quality tracks

[Marlo]
You...could model for mags
I was jotting some scraps
Of some kind things for you every night in my room before I even knew this was a compliments match
[Shuffle T]
But let's keep it short cause no-one wants to hear us novices rap
We both wear jackets in our battles, mine is honestly crap
We both wear earphones that hook off at the back
It's pretty obvious that I went and copied your swag
I'm sorry for that

[Marlo]
John is the man, when your daughter's 18
She'll be a strong, self-sufficient...

[Shuffle T]
Independent person G

[Marlo]
Even though she clearly won't need a bloke we just hope she finds someone who treats her...

[Shuffle T]
With respect and courtesy

[Marlo]
And Lefty, Lefty is the realest of dudes
My chick says she wants to leave me for you
And I said, "I can't help but agree with you boo
So let's hook up after the battle for a threesome or two
Cause no homo I dog broads with my cock pork
But if you and I accidentally crossed swords in a hot org' and got more than we stopped for
I would not...not want more
What?
Pause, double negative
But these fucking legends would have no trouble penning some much more better shit

[Shuffle T]
Big J's cuddles benefit on some hugs from Teddy shit
Plus his mother blessed him with a fucking lovely...
Sense of wit
What? You thought I would say "jugs" or fucking "breasts" and shit or double extra chins don't be so fucking negative

[Marlo]
Listen carefully
Hate you guys, the attack insults flawless
Deprecating your full skill too mate

[Shuffle T]
Wait, wait, wait, wait

[Marlo]
I got that backwards didn't I?

[Shuffle T]
Yeah

[Marlo]
Reverse that round man

[Shuffle T]
Mate, too skilful, your deprecating flawless insults attack the guys you hate

[Marlo]
Me? I'm a bit of a fruity twat with that Chichester Uni swag
Here's a literally useless fact
I just finished a few exams
You however, flipping the view of hand are sicker than flu, in fact
Visions of Superman spitting to slew your match
Your delivery proves the latter cause typically you relax
And control your flow with a strong force so you are long forth known as the lyrical Hoover Dam

[Shuffle T]
The Legionnaires squad that surrounds you; untouchable
Anyone says differently about you; insufferable
Whenever anybody is around you...they're comfortable
You wanna know the reason for that dude? You're lovable
This kid? He has something special when he raps
Yeah he's technically mad
So how do you think he feels when I start stepping to this champ
Look at Lefty in his Vans and tell him, with affection, I respect him as a man
But wait, cause I got something extra in the can for this fine specimen at hand
Cause you are straight as hell
Seriously, he won't even eat Babybel because of the way the name is spelled
More than that, your bars come straight from Hell
Your face is swell, you age so well I can't figure out if you're 8 or 12
I've suppressed any feelings of being gay I felt
Cause I sincerely wanted to save myself for J and L

[Marlo]
Bit gay
Big J you got people telling you your type's dead
Just a single syllable two-bit rhyme head
Fuck them, only you do your style best it's amusing
Plus the execution's priceless

[Shuffle T]
So does he get our seal of approval signed?

[Marlo]
Yes, cause you stick to your guns like you glued your biceps
You're funny as fuck, that's how you murder a stage
In fact you spit so much fire with your mirthful capers that Adversity's face will need emergency aid before it burns from the flames
I'm losing words to convey it, fuck any person that hates, J you're perfect and great

[Shuffle T]
And I'm certain that J is fucking turning me gay

[Marlo]
See where this goes...

[Shuffle T]
Seriously, before this battle I was perfectly straight
I happen to think it's something about your circular frame and indeterminate weight
Which has gone and urged me to change but
Even though, I'd probably go further to say
That even though you probably have girls on a plate
And every single motherfucking person in the world is your mate
I would still purposefully stray
And I don't give a fuck if I get terminal AIDS like Freddie Mercury's case
I want to feel your motherfucking sperm on my face!

[Marlo]
What the fuck was that?

[Shuffle T]
Err, a part of our double's match

[Marlo]
Don't make me a part of that you fucking twat

[Shuffle T]
I'm just showing him some love and that

[Marlo]
You are such a fag

[Shuffle T]
Oh woah, woah, double back
You said you could trust me man
I showed you every other rap in my pink and fluffy pad

[Marlo]
Man, there's a line in the fucking sand
You, appeared to have stumbled that
And tumbled down to Wonderland
Apologize

[Shuffle T]
Sorry guys I probably shouldn't have come with that

[Marlo]
Anyway, back to the planned lines
J isn't wack guys so lay off his backside
If I hear any of the lamest of twats try to claim that he's fat I
Will arrange that the man dies
Haters are mad, why? It's stating the facts time
Just cause he impersonated a Villun doesn't make him a bad guy

[Shuffle T]
And I hope you can hear me dude
Your ears are cute
When people say they're weird and screwed I just think they're really you

[Marlo]
Well that's clearly true
And look, I don't want to make a spectacle of Inspector Cool

[Shuffle T]
But you should expect a call from SpecSavers specially requesting your presence for selling all many sorts of special order spectacles

[Marlo]
Cause your specs are cool

[Shuffle T]
And he doesn't simply mean the shit you see with he means your every physical aspect and all

[Marlo]
Not only are those trendsetting specs Lefty

[Shuffle T]
But believe that we've been checking out your pecs Lefty

[Marlo]
You've been hardening the structure of your chest Lefty

[Shuffle T]
Doing 27 reps in every set, Lefty

[Marlo]
What comes next Lefty?

[Shuffle T]
Working on your legs Lefty?

[Both]
'Cause take it from us , you are looking at your very best Lefty!

[Marlo]
Here's a line to describe you two, quite dapper
Ladies from Alaska to Dubai gather to you like fruit flies to pineapples
And if you spy a beautiful blue-eyed slapper but she's too shy to have a few pints and the prude type that's just a two nights challenge
Smooth guy banter
And you guys have a Maroon 5 swagger
The Moves Like Jagger
Your two line chat up is lube like matter for poon, I gather
So emotionally several sucker dudes might scatter the room like maggots
You guys actually prove quite handsome
Take her back to yours for a good night's shagging

[Shuffle T]
And I'm always defending my girl, on that insecurity tip
Big J doesn't need to do that cause he's secure with his chick
I bet in the sack she is a furious nymph'
She gave birth to those cute little kids and still keeps those luxurious hips
Well, at least I mean, I'm just assuming this shit
Because typically, originally, it's humans who mix with catches that match in attraction to us a bit
So judging from the shape of this beautiful prince
I'd be assuming your chick is fucking stupidly fit

[Marlo]
I checked out the Legionaries online and I was genuinely feeling it
When Lefty and his team are spitting everything is ether this
G's EP is called December but it's heat could singe the hair off Ibrahimovic

[Shuffle T]
Plus you can download it off the web and it is free and shit

[Marlo]
Absolutely no fair to the payment bruv
They don't care if you saved it up
Or even if you are a millionaire with some crazy bucks
They'll spare you the change so you can get all your basic stuff
Sorted and still get to sharing the latest buzz
The won't fuck you over kids, they're into making love
Legionaries are legends compared to the greatest son
And J can dictate what's gangster and what ain't
Cause face it, his parents created one

[Shuffle T]
Everyone always puts your slogan down to awkward shouting
Without realizing you're the only one qualified to talk about it
Cause this man's a decent clone of Al freaking pone, a hard case

[Marlo]
And physically manly thug

[Shuffle T]
He's got the actual hemoglobin of Al Pacino's role in Scarface
That's literally gangster blood
So to summarize these fucking guys are nothing we could par
It's tough to be as hard as these fucking genius are

[Marlo]
Make a hundred people laugh, that's not such an easy task
But with these two you'll always get something from a bar

[Shuffle T]
Slow it down

[Marlo]
Let's open a round

[Shuffle T]
Do you want something from the bar?

{Marlo and Shuffle T hand them beers they pull from their jackets}

Lime? Time!