If… If you’re in a group that I made fun of, then just know that I probably will only make fun of you if I see myself in you. I make fun of poor white people because I was once poor. And I know that the only difference between a poor black person and a poor white person is that a poor white person feels like it’s not supposed to be happening to them. Yeah! Everything else is the same. I know what it’s like to have a cold house. I wasn’t allowed to touch the thermostat growing up without asking my father, and it would be fuckin’ freezing in the housе. I’d be like, “Dad, pleasе. Can I please just turn the heat up to, like, I don’t know, 32, n i g g a? It’s really cold.” And my dad would say, “Just put more clothes on, David.” “I got all three of my outfits on, n i g g a. Will you look at me? I’m freezing up here.” And he said, “Just don’t think about how cold you are, David.” And I said this. I didn’t say it to him, but I said it in front of him so he could hear. I said, “I fuckin’ hate being poor.” And my dad got really upset. He didn’t scream or howl. That wasn’t his way. He just threw his newspaper on the floor, and he said, “David, David, David. You are not poor.” He said, “Poor is a mentality.” He said, “It’s a mentality that very few people ever recover from. Don’t you forget it, son. You are broke.” He said, “These are just financial circumstances that I hope to overcome one day very soon.” And I said, “Well, Dad, whatever you want to call this, uh, it’s wildly uncomfortable.”

There was a big dance coming up in the middle school. I was 12 years old. I said, “Dad, can I go to the dance?” He said, “Of course you can go. I want you to get out and meet some more kids.” I said, “Great. Uh, it costs three dollars to get in.” And my dad said, “Ooh… Sorry, son, uh… I don’t have it.” I was like, “What the fuck? You don’t have three dollars? Well, then, how are we alive, Dad? Wish I found some way out of this hell! I’d do anything to not be poor. I will show Michael Jackson my anus if I get a chance. I just gotta get out of this hell.” Dad said, “If you want to go to the dance bad enough, I’ll tell you what. There’s some money in the change jar, get the money from there.” I was 12 years old. That’s what I did. I showed up to the dance early. There’s a long line of kids waiting behind me while I’m at the door, trying to count out 300 pennies to get inside. I will never forget this shit as long as I fuckin’ live. Oh, man, you know. If you’ve been poor, you know what that feels like. You ashamed all the time. Feels like it’s your fault. And all them kids was laughing, “Ha, ha, ha, look how poor Dave Chappelle is.” Oh. Like, when I think back at it, that was really the only time in my life that I ever thought to myself, “I should kill everybody at school.”



Thank you very much, everybody, and good night.