Dave Chappelle
Fearless
I know I didn't say that right, but it’s true, n***a, like… You know why I said that though? ‘Cause I went to an arts high school. And, like, all them n***as was gay, man. Like, in a high school, all them dudes was gay. And them gay dudes is way more mature than the rest of us. And we didn't know why, we just knew they was mature. Ever seen a gay dude at lunch? Perfect posture, they just sitting there. [laughing] Eating responsibly. Then they take that thermos out. You be like, “What the fuck is that?”

“Is this n***a drinking wine with lunch? ”

We didn't know what it was. Because we were young boys just trying to figure out who we were. And we didn’t realize these gay dudes were fighting to be who they knew they already were. Some impressive shit. They were fearless, the gay kids. Fucking fearless. I've never seen a scared gay dude in my life. What kind of man has no fear?

You could be tied up in a hostage situation with a gay dude, and them n***as still be like, “I'm thirsty.”

“Shh. Shh!”

“I'm thirsty, David. I need something to drink.”

“Shh.”

“Well, then shoot me. I would rather die of a bullet than dehydration. N***a, I am thirsty. I need some water.”

All jokes aside, Kevin Spacey shouldn't have done that shit to that kid. He was 14-years-old and was forced to carry a grown man's secret. For 30 years. Jesus Christ, he must have been busting at the seams with that one. The saddest part is, if he were able to carry that secret for six more months, I would get to know how House of Cards ends.