[DMX's "Party Up In Here" plays]

[Introduction]
From the historic Lincoln Theatre in Washington, D.C. - Dave Chappelle

[Act]
Thank ya
Thank ya, thank ya
Oh yeah, oh yeah
All right, no, really.
Boy, y'all make it good to come home, boy, I swear.
I know, man. It's been awhile, it's been awhile.

D.C.'s different. I been gone, man. It took me years to be able to do this show, boy. D.C. has changed! It's different now.
There's a lot of white people walking around...

I mean, I left D.C. in the 80's. It was not like this in the '80s. When crack was going on... Remember when crack was going on? White people would be looking at D.C. from Virginia with binoculars and shit.

"Well that looks dangerous. Not yet."

New white people, you can't scare these white people. I tried. You roll up on 'em, "Boo!"

"The hell is wrong with you?" "Those days are over."

I'm glad that, you know, like, we're doing a show here by Howard, you know. And you see, like, white people come out, and that's good. One thing I'm seeing-- you'll be walking down the street and you'll see, like, a group of black dudes walking. Not just any old black dudes. We're talking, you know... "thugs". We're talking, you know, there'd be some thugs. In the group, they got like, one or two-- sometimes as many as three white guys that be with them. You ever see that shit? Let me tell you something about those white guys: those white guys are some of the most dangerous motherfuckers in them groups.

No, it's true. It's true, Man. Ain't no telling what they've done to get them black dudes' respect. But them black dudes have seen them do some wild shit. I'll tell you that. I've been trying to tell brothers that. Every group of brothers should have at least one white guy-- I'm serious--for safety. Cause when the shit goes down, somebody's gonna need to talk to the police.

I mean, that's when-- that's when that white friend comes in handy.
"Uh-oh. Ernie? Wanna get this one? Come on now. come on now. Do something."