Stephen Sondheim
Can That Boy Foxtrot!
[WOMAN 1 & WOMAN 2]
We know this grocery clerk
Unprepossessing
Some think the boy's a jerk
They have our blessing
But when he starts to move
He aims to please
Which only goes to prove
That sometimes in a clerk you find a Hercules

[WOMAN 1]
He hasn't much that's plus

[WOMAN 2]
You might describe him thus:

[WOMAN 1 & WOMAN 2]
A false alarm
A broken arm
An imitation Hitler and with littler charm
But oh, can that boy foxtrot!

[WOMAN 1]
His mouth is mean

[WOMAN 2]
He's not too clean
[WOMAN 1]
What makes him look reptilian

[WOMAN 2]
Is the brilliantine

[WOMAN 1 & WOMAN 2]
But oh, can that boy foxtrot!

[WOMAN 1]
Who knows what I saw in him?
I took a chance

[WOMAN 1 & WOMAN 2]
Oh, yes, one more flaw in him:
He can't dance

[WOMAN 2]
As dumbbells go

[WOMAN 1]
He's rather slow

[WOMAN 2]
And as for being saintly
[WOMAN 1]
Even faintly, no

[WOMAN 1 & WOMAN 2]
But who needs Albert Schweitzer when the lights are low?
And oh boy, oh boy
Can that boy foxtrot!

Right now as I speak of him
I hear those drums
And oh, the technique of him
He's all thumbs

[WOMAN 1]
His jokes are quaint

[WOMAN 2]
And fairly faint

[WOMAN 1 & WOMAN 2]
He may be full of hokum but I've no complaint
He often is a bore, but on the floor he ain't
And oh boy, oh boy
Can that boy foxtrot!