[PHYLLIS]
Now this is the tale of the dame
Known as Harriet
Who climbed to the top of the heap from the bottom
A beautiful life was her aim
And to vary it
She wanted the sun and the moon, and she got 'em
She isn't the least exhausted from her climb
But she does look back from time to time
And the subject of this evening's quiz
Is who she was, and who she is

Uptown, she's stepping out with a swell
Downtown, she's holding hands on the El
Hyphenated Harriеt
The nouveau
From New Ro-
Chеlle

Uptown, she's got the Vanderbilt clan
Downtown, she's with the sidewalk Cezanne
Hyphenated Harriet
The nouveau
From New Ro-
Chelle
She sits
At the Ritz
With the splits
Of Mumm's
And starts to pine
For a stein
With her village chums
But with a Schlitz
In her mitts
Down at Fitz-
Roy's Bar
She thinks of the Ritz, oh
It's so
Schizo

Uptown, it's Harry Winston she needs
Downtown, strictly zircons and beads
Ask her, should she be uptown or down?
She's two of the most miserable girls in town