Stephen Sondheim
Opening
[WOMEN]
Bobby, Bobby
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
Bobby (Bobby), Bobby (Bobby)
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
(Bobby)
Bobby (Bobby), Bobby (Bobby)
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
Bobby

[MEN]
Bobby

[WOMEN]
Bobby

[MEN]
Bobby

[ALL]
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
Bobby

[JOANNE, spoken]
Hi, this is a dirty phone call. Larry and I will be in the country so we’ll miss any birthday celebration. Anyway, you’re thirty-five. Who wants to celebrate being that old? Well, I only hope I look as good as you when I’m your age
[PETER, spoken]
Hi Bob. It’s Peter. Get those girls outta your bed and pick up the phone, will ya? God, I’m so envious I can’t even talk. Call me

[AMY, spoken]
Hi, Bobby, it’s Amy. I just called to say that if I’m late for the surprise birthday party tonight please tell Paul I’m running... oh, wait, you’re not s'posed to know that there’s... Judy? Judy? Oh goodness, I’m afraid I’ve dialed a wrong number. Sorry, just ignore this phone call. Oh, God

[ROBERT, spoken]
Hi, this is Bob. Yes, today is my birthday. And yes, you may leave a message about how happy you are that I’m turning thirty-five. And whatever you’re calling about, the answer is yes

(the following lines overlap)
[COMPANY]
Bobby, Bobby
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
Bobby (Bobby), Bobby (Bobby)
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba

[ROBERT, spoken]
My birthday. It’s my birthday. Do you know you had me scared to death? I was just about to run out of this place like nobody’s business. I was. I mean, I didn’t know—I mean, what kinda friends would surprise you on your thirty-fifth birthday? Mine

(end of lines overlapping)

[COMPANY]
Bobby

[ROBERT, spoken]
Then again, how many times do you get to be thirty-five? Eleven?Okay, c’mon. Say it and get it over with. It’s embarrassing. Quick. I can’t stand it
[COMPANY, spoken]
Happy birthday, Robert!

[ROBERT, spoken]
I stood it. Thank you for including me in your thoughts, your lives, your families. Yes, thank you for remembering. Thank you