Stephen Sondheim
Pour le Sport (The Last Resorts, 1956)
[ALL]
We're having such fun
We're  going golfing
We're  having such fun
And feeling fit!
Isn't it mad? We've never had so much fun—
Let's  quit!

[DUCHESS]
I  feel like crying—
I got a birdie!
I  wasn't trying
So who could know?
Never occurred
To me the bird
Was  flying
So low!

[ALL]
Oh, to be out in the air again
Far from town!
Feeling as strong as a bear again—
Let's lie down
Straightening out all the kinks again
Slightly sore—
Ah, to be out on the links again
Pour le sport!
It's so amusing—
Let's have a highball—
It's so amusing
It's like a game!
Hitting a small
Expensive ball
And losing
The same

[DUCHESS]
It's so exciting—
Let's look for my ball
It's so exciting—
Let's have a race!
This one is mine—
It says in tiny
Writing:
"Her Grace"

[GIRLS]
Back in the world of sports again—
Très très gay
Back in Bermuda shorts again—
Mainbocher!
Nudging the ball with your toe again—
Who keeps score?
Ah, to be out with the pro again
Pour le sport
[WOMAN #1]
I want the niblick
Whatever that is
It's just a niblick
But it's divine
Even if it's
A simple little
Niblick
It's mine

[WOMAN #2]
I need the three-wood—
It's silver-plated
I need the three-wood
But which is which?

[WOMAN #3]
Harriet told
Me hers is gold...

[WOMAN #2]
Well, she would—
The bitch

[ALL]
Ah, to be out on the green again
In the pink
Getting deliciously lean again—
Where's my drink?
Fresh as a girl of eighteen again
And what's more
We could keep at it yet for hours, getting thinner
Nevertheless, we've got to dress for dinner
[DUCHESS]
Look at the time!
Let's say that I'm
The winner—
Fore!

[ALL]
What'll we do tomorrow
Pour le sport?