Stephen Sondheim
Kiss Me
[JOHANNA]
He means to marry me Monday
What shall I do? I'd rather die

[ANTHONY]
I have a plan —

[JOHANNA]
I’ll swallow poison on Sunday
That's what I'll do, I’ll get some lye

[ANTHONY]
I have a plan —

[JOHANNA]
Oh, dear, was that a noise?

[ANTHONY]
A plan—

[JOHANNA]
I think I heard a noise

[ANTHONY]
A plan!
[JOHANNA]
It couldn't be
He's in court
He's in court today
Still, that was a noise
Wasn't that a noise?
You must have heard that —

[ANTHONY]
Kiss me

[JOHANNA]
Oh, sir...

[ANTHONY]
Ah, miss ...

[JOHANNA]
Oh, sir ...
If he should marry me Monday
What shall I do? I'll die of grief

[ANTHONY]
We fly tonight —

[JOHANNA]
'Tis Friday, virtually Sunday
What can we do with time so brief?
[ANTHONY]
We fly tonight —

[JOHANNA]
Behind the curtain — quick!

[ANTHONY]
Tonight —

[JOHANNA]
I think I heard a click!

[ANTHONY]
Tonight!

[JOHANNA]
It was a gate!

It's the gate!
We don’t have a gate
Still there was a — Wait!
There’s another click!
You must have heard that —

[ANTHONY]:
It's not a gate
There’s no gate
You don't have a gate
If you'd only listen, miss, and
Kiss me!
[JOHANNA]
Tonight?

[ANTHONY]
Kiss me

[JOHANNA]
You mean tonight?

[ANTHONY]
The plan is made

[JOHANNA]
Oh, sir!

[ANTHONY]
So kiss me

[JOHANNA]
I feel a fright

[ANTHONY]
Be not afraid

[JOHANNA]
Sir, I did
Love you even as I
​saw you, even as it
​did not matter that I
​did not know your name

[ANTHONY]
Tonight I'll
​steal
​you
Johanna
I’ll steal you

It's me you'll marry on Monday
That's what you'll do!

[JOHANNA]
And gladly, sir

[ANTHONY]
St. Dunstan's, noon

[JOHANNA]
I knew I'd be with you one day

Even not knowing who you were
I feared you'd never come
That you'd been called away
That you'd been killed
Had the plague
Were in debtor's jail
Trampled by a horse
Gone to sea again
Arrested by the —

[ANTHONY]
Ah, miss
Marry me, marry me, miss
Oh, marry me Monday!
Favor me, favor me
​with your hand
Promise
Marry me, marry me, please
Oh, marry me Monday —

[JOHANNA]
Kiss me!

[ANTHONY]
Of course

[JOHANNA]
Kiss me!

[ANTHONY]
You're sure?

[JOHANNA]
Kiss me!

[ANTHONY]
I shall!

[JOHANNA]
Kiss me!
Oh, sir ...