[PHYLLIS]
Here's a little story that should make you cry
About two unhappy dames
Let us call them Lucy "X" and Jessie "Y"
Which are not their real names

Now Lucy has the purity
Along with the unsurety
That comes with being only twenty-one
Jessie has maturity
And plenty of security
Whatever you can do with them she's done

Given their advantages
You may ask why
The two ladies have such grief
This is my belief
In brief:

Lucy is juicy
But terribly drab
Jessie is dressy
But cold as a slab
Lucy wants to be dressy
Jessie wants to be juicy
Lucy wants to be Jessie
And Jessie Lucy
You see
Jessie is racy
But hard as a rock
Lucy is lacy
But dull as a smock
Jessie wants to be lacy
Lucy wants to be Jessie
That's the sorrowful précis
It's very messy

Poor, sad souls
Itching to be switching roles
Lucy wants to do what Jessie does
Jessie wants to be what Lucy was

Lucy's a lassie
You pat on the head
Jessie is classy
But virtually dead
Lucy wants to be classy
Jessie wants to be Lassie
If Lucy and Jessie could only combine
I could tell you someone
Who would finally feel just fine