Stephen Sondheim
Soldiers’ Gossip (#1)
[TORASSO]
Did you hear the scream last night?

[AUGENTI]
Did anybody not?

[RIZZOLLI]
Four ball on the side

[LOMBARDI]
She knows how to scream, all right

[BARRI]
Well, she practices a lot

[AUGENTI]
Good shot

[RIZZOLLI]
Six ball in the corner

[LOMBARDI]
So that wasn't dying, we assume?

[BARRI]
No, I think she just fell off her broom
[TORASSO]
Or they hung a mirror in the room
Of la signora!

[BARRI]
La signora!

[AUGENTI]
La signora!

[RIZZOLLI]
Please, a little quiet!

(Bugle call. Drums continue softly under as the game continues Giorgio enters to speak with the Doctor.)

[RIZZOLLI, spoken]
Care to play, Captain?

[GIORGIO, spoken]
No. Thank you for asking

(Giorgio leaves.)

[TORASSO]
Just a bit aloof, don't you think?
[LOMBARDI]
Not around the Colonel

[AUGENTI]
Gentlemen, gentlemen
Never trust a man who doesn't drink

[TORASSO]
And he keeps a journal

[BARRI]
Eight-ball off the nine

[RIZZOLLI]
Maybe, though, he just prefers his books

[LOMBARDI]
Not as much as he prefers his looks

[TORASSO]
Which is why he thinks he's got his hooks
Into la Signora

[BARRI]
Gentlemen, I'll make a wager:
Come the summer, he'll be Major
[RIZZOLLI]
I'll say!

[ALL]
I'll say!
I'll say!