Stephen Sondheim
In Praise of Women
[CARL-MAGNUS]
She wouldn't...
Therefore they didn't...
So then it wasn't—
Not unless it—
Would he?
She doesn't...
God knows she needn't...
Therefore it's not

He'd never...
Therefore they haven't...
Which makes the question absolutely—
Could he?
She daren't...
Therefore I mustn't...
What utter rot!

Fidelity is more than mere display
It's what a man expects from life
Fidelity like mine to Desiree
And Charlotte, my devoted wife

The papers...
He mentioned papers
Some legal papers
Which I didn't see there
Where were they
The goddamn papers
She had to sign?
What nonsense...
He brought her papers
They were important
So he had to be there
I'll kill him!
Why should I bother?
The woman's mine!

Besides, no matter what one might infer
One must have faith to some degree
The least that I can do is trust in her
The way that Charlotte trusts in me

Capable, pliable...
Women, women...
Undemanding and reliable
Knowing their place
Insufferable, yes, but gentle
Their weaknesses are incidental
A functional but ornamental
Race

Durable, sensible...
Women, women...
Very nearly indispensable
Creatures of grace
God knows the foolishness about them
But if one had to live without them
The world would surely be a poorer
If purer
Place
The hip-bath...
About that hip-bath...
How can you slip and trip into a hip-bath?
The papers...
Where were the papers?
Of course, he might have taken back the papers...
She wouldn't...
Therefore they didn't...
The woman's mine!