Stephen Sondheim
The Judge’s Return
JUDGE: Where is she? Where is the girl?
TODD: Below, your Honor. With my neighbor, Mrs. Lovett. Thank heavens the sailor did not molest her. Thank heavens too, she
Has seen the error of her ways
JUDGE: She has?
TODD: Oh yes, sir. She speaks only of you, longing for forgiveness
JUDGE: And she shall have it
JUDGE:
Pretty women!
TODD:
Pretty women, yes ...
JUDGE: Quickly, sir, a splash of bay rum!
TODD: Sit, sir, sit
JUDGE:
JOHANNA,JOHANNA..
TODD:
Pretty women . .
JUDGE: Hurry, man!
TODD:
Pretty women
Are a wonder . .
JUDGE: You're in a merry mood again today, barber
TODD:
Pretty women!
JUDGE:
What we do for
TODD:
Pretty women! Pretty women!
Blowing out their candles Blowing out their candles
Or combing out their hair — Or combing out their hair
Then they leave —
Even when they leave you Even when they leave
And vanish, they somehow They still
Can still remain Are there
There with you there ... They're there . ..
JUDGE: How seldom it is one meets a fellow spirit!
TODD: With fellow tastes — in women, at least
JUDGE: What? What's that?
TODD: The years no doubt have changed me, sir. But then, I suppose, the face of a barber — the face of a prisoner in the
Dock — is not particularly memorable
JUDGE: Benjamin Barker!
TODD:
Rest now, my friend
Rest now forever
Sleep now the untroubled
Sleep of the angels . ..
The boy
My razor!
You! What are you doing here? Speak!
JOHANNA: Oh, dear. Er — excuse me, sir. I saw the barber's sign. So thinking to ask for a shave, I —
TODD: When? When did you come in?
JOHANNA: Oh, sir, I beg of you. Whatever I have seen, no man shall ever know. I swear it. Oh, sir, please, sir ...
TODD: A shave, eh? At your service
JOHANNA: But, sir...
TODD: Whatever you may have seen, your cheeks are still as much in need of the razor as before. Sit, sir. Sit

COMPANY:
Lift your razor high, Sweeney!
Hear it singing, "Yes!"
Sink it in the rosy skin
Of righteousness!
MRS. LOVETT: Die! Die! God in heaven — die! You! Can it be? How all the demons of Hell come to torment me! Quick! To the
Oven
TODD: Why did you scream? Does the JUDGE still live?
MRS. LOVETT: He was clutching, holding on to my skirt, but now — he's finished
TODD: Leave them to me. Open the doors
MRS. LOVETT: No! Don't touch her!
TODD: What is the matter with you? It's only some meddling old beggar — Oh no, Oh God . . . "Don't I know you?" she said .
. You knew she lived. From the first moment that I walked into your shop you knew my Lucy lived!
MRS. LOVETT: I was only thinking of you!
TODD:
Lucy. .
MRS. LOVETT: Your Lucy! A crazy hag picking bones and rotten spuds out of alley ash-cans! Would you have wanted to know that
Was all that was left of her?
TODD: You lied to me
MRS. LOVETT:
No, no, not lied at all
No, I never lied
TODD:
Lucy...
MRS. LOVETT:
Said she took the poison — she did —
Never said that she died —
Poor thing
She lived —
TODD:
I've come home again . .
MRS. LOVETT:
But it left her weak in the head
All she did for months was just lie there in bed —
TODD:
Lucy. .
MRS. LOVETT:
Should've been in hospital
Wound up in Bedlam instead
Poor thing!
TODD:
Oh, my God . .
MRS. LOVETT:
Better you should think she was dead
Yes, I lied 'cos I love you!
TODD:
Lucy...
MRS. LOVETT:
I'd be twice the wife she was!
I love you!
TODD:
What have I done?...
MRS. LOVETT:
Could that thing have cared for you
Like me?
TODD:
Mrs. Lovett
You're a bloody wonder
Eminently practical and yet
Appropriate as always
As you've said repeatedly
There's little point in dwelling on the past
TODD:
MRS. LOVETT:
Do you mean it?
Everything I did I swear
I thought
Was only for the best
Believe me!
Can we still be
Married?
No, come here, my love ..
Not a thing to fear
My love . .
What's dead
Is dead
TODD:
The history of the world, my pet —
MRS. LOVETT:
Oh, Mr. Todd
Ooh, Mr. Todd
Leave it to me ..
TODD:
Is learn forgiveness and try to forget
MRS. LOVETT:
By the sea, Mr. Todd
We'll be comfy-cozy
By the sea, Mr. Todd
Where there's no one nosy ...
TODD:
And life is for the alive, my dear
So let's keep living it — !
BOTH:
Just keep living it
Really living it — !
TODD:
There was a barber and his wife
And she was beautiful
A foolish barber and his wife
She was his reason and his life
And she was beautiful
And she was virtuous
And he was —
Naive
TOBIAS:
Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker man
Bake me a cake —
No,no
Bake me a pie —
To delight my eye
And I will sigh
If the crust be high ...
Mr. TODD
It's the old woman. Ya harmed her too, have ya? Ya shouldn't, ya know. Ya shouldn't harm nobody. Razor! Razor! Cut, cut, cut
Cadougan, watch me grind my corn. Pat him and prick him and mark him with B, and put him in the oven for baby and me!