[Verse 1]
Yesterday's coal train came to rest in the bitter cutting
And while the signals took an age to change, it was easy pickings
So you go to the movies where they smash it up
You want to feel your heart pumping, it makes you feel good
All through the karaoke girls were squealing the hits
While another Mercedes-Benz gets blown to bits

[Verse 2]
While all the time in the camp town theaters of Piccadilly
They're going to throw a black-face minstrel show
For the barefoot children that they're always selling
They'll say "It's quaint" as the guilty ones faint
And claim they ain't underneath this paint
We interrupt these liberal saints
With their whips and watermelon

[Chorus]
Reports are coming in of a coal-train robbery
It's like another world, or it had better be

[Verse 3]
So we return to the whitewashed pout of his committed lips
Since he was declared the long lost fountain of youth
That drips and drips and drips
They'll be sending him 'round from door to door
To sell you back what's already yours
"So many good deeds, so little time"
Say the advertising agency swine
When man has destroyed what he thinks he owns
I hope no living thing cries over his bones
If you don't believe that I'm going for good
You can count the days I'm gone
And chop up the chairs for firewood
[Chorus]
Reports are coming in of a coal-train robbery
It's like another world, or it had better be

Reports are coming in of a coal-train robbery
It's like another world, or it had better be

[Outro]
Reports, reports, reports, reports