[Intro]
Oh 'n y'all watch out, now! There's a cougar down there!
She done got herself a calf. Ain't that a damn shame...

[Verse 1]
Somebody save Ian, 'cause I don't wanna see him
With the forty-year-old gold digging European
From the king, can she sing, does she even fucking clean?
Seems mean, while the ring, it's obscene, it's a scheme

Where's the eggs? This is staged, this is a mistake
This is fake right as Ian Garry's got a pretty face
No hate, but how's a man that good looking
Get a girl who can't cook and she prob'ly be hooking

Got me looking at the sky, got me asking Jesus why
Why Ian fell in love with a woman fifty-five
No soul so old holding gold in both hands
While she still with both mans, looking like she eats crayons

[Chorus]
Somebody save Ian, 'cause I don't wanna see him
With the forty-year-old gold digging European
There's a cougar on the prowl, bringing young men down
She's older than your dad and she's coming to your town
Somebody save Ian, 'cause I don't wanna see him
With the forty-year-old gold digging European
There's a cougar on the prowl, bringing young men down
She's older than your dad and she's coming to your town

[Verse 2]
She's at death's door, why you let her give you head for?
She's six months away from insurance and getting bed sores
Ancient, I need my pills three times a day shit
Eighteen hip replacements and eight face lifts

Nip tuck, how hard is it to get your dick sucked?
Ian, you're a big buck, hoes can't keep their lips shut
This ain't personal, don't wanna see her hurting you
A bad woman who don't love you bring out the worst in you

I ain't burning you, Ian, I'm just re-learning you
Refining you with fire the same way that a furnace do
It should have been a hit and run, Jon Bones Jones
At least he knows when to leave a dying bitch alone

[Chorus]
Somebody save Ian, 'cause I don't wanna see him
With the forty-year-old gold digging European
There's a cougar on the prowl, bringing young men down
She's older than your dad and she's coming to your town
Somebody save Ian, 'cause I don't wanna see him
With the forty-year-old gold digging European
There's a cougar on the prowl, bringing young men down
She's older than your dad and she's coming to your town

[Outro]
Yee-haw!
Now, you don't come around here suing me now, boy!
And don't you come around here and beat me up!
And you keep them cougar claws off me, you understand?
Won't be no cougars around here on my lot!