Tyler Cassidy
Louis C.K.
[Verse 1]
Something been changing inside me, now sex isn't fun
But I found a new way I could cum
I just wanna jerk off in front of someone, yeah
So now I been plotting and scheming
And I'm out on the prowl
And I got my lotion and towel
And I wanna do this shit now, yeah
So I found a pretty little lady
And asked the girl, "How was your day?"
But I just didn't care anyway
I couldn't even remember her name, yeah
And I looked around for a second and made sure nobody could hear
And that's when I pulled her right near
And I whispered right into her ear

[Chorus]
Can I please get consent?
Cause I wanna jerk on my dick
And I wanna do that shit nice and hard
And you're gonna stand there and watch
Can I please get consent?
Cause I wanna jerk on my dick
And I wanna do that shit nice and hard
And you're gonna stand there and watch
Can I please get consent?
[Verse 2]
Things ain't been getting no better
I just don't think you understand
I been traveling across the land
For girls to watch me put my dick in my hand, yeah
Girl I don't even want fuck ya
I just wanna stroke on my pole
I don't want nothing to do with your hole
I just wanna jerk off and stare through your soul, yeah
And now when I go to the club, and I do my stand up routine
And I see all the girls that I see
I just wanna jerk off and spray all my cream, yeah
And as I stood up on the stage
And I look through the laughter and smoke
Well I went to go tell a good joke
But these are the words that I spoke

[Chorus]
Can I please get consent?
Cause I wanna jerk on my dick
And I wanna do that shit nice and hard
And you're gonna stand there and watch
Can I please get consent?
Cause I wanna jerk on my dick
And I wanna do that shit nice and hard
And you're gonna stand there and watch
Can I please get consent?
[Verse 3]
As I looked out at the crowd
They were baffled and covered in cum
Every woman and man, every one
Well I just couldn't help but feel dumb, yeah
So I put the mic in the stand
And I turned and I walked off the stage
Past a man who had cum on his face
And I thought, "Well, does that make me gay?" I dunno
Then I sat down at the bar
And I looked at the man on my right
He was handsome and darker than night
He was funny as shit and polite, yeah
Then the man gave me a pudding
And said it would put me at ease
And I watched and remembered the words that he spoke right before I passed out on my knees

[Chorus]
I do not need consent
You're gonna suck on my dick
You're gonna do that shit nice and long
And then you're gon' fall fast asleep
I do not need consent
You're gonna suck on my dick
You're gonna do that shit nice and long
And then you're gon' fall fast asleep
And then you're gon' fall fast asleep