[Chorus]
Your pirate ship can eat a bag of dicks
Your pirate ship can eat a giant bag of dicks
Your shitty wee boat is a fucking joke
It's just the unwanted leftovers of a jobby tugging barge
Your pirate ship can eat a bag of dicks
Your pirate ship can eat a giant bag of dicks
You better give us all the money in your treasure chest
Or Kristof's gonna take a shit on your fucking lawn

[Verse]
Your pirate ship can eat a bag of dicks
Your pirate ship can eat a giant bag of dicks
Your poop deck is a shithole and your rudder is crap
And your cannons are incapable of firing twenty feet
Your pirate ship can eat a bag of dicks
Your pirate ship can eat a giant bag of dicks
Your stupid navigator is an alcoholic
And all your crew look like LEGO bricks

[Chorus]
Your pirate ship can eat a bag of dicks
Your pirate ship can eat a giant bag of dicks
Your shitty wee boat is a fucking joke
It's just the unwanted leftovers of a jobby tugging barge
Your pirate ship can eat a bag of dicks
Your pirate ship can eat a giant bag of dicks
You better give us all the money in your treasure chest
Or Kristof's gonna take a shit on your fucking lawn