[Verse 1]
Oh, Phineas Gage was 25 years old in 1848
And he liked his job working at the railroad, but he had another fate
He was blasting rock when something distracted him
And he forgot to put the tamping sand in

[Pre-Chorus 1]
He shoved the tamping rod into that little hole onto the blasting powder
And suddenly, his entire left frontal lobe had been turned into clam chowder...

[Chorus]
Oh, this is the story of Phineas Gage who was stabbed in the brain
And once your frontal lobe has been destroyed, you can never go home again

[Verse 2]
A little while later, Phineas Gage was sitting on his bed
He told the doctor the tamping rod had shot straight through his head
But the doctor could not believe what Phineas said
For if that were the case, he surely would be dead

[Pre-Chorus 2]
But then Phineas had a coughing fit and a teacupful of brains fell out of his head
And that was more than the doctor could explain...

[Chorus]
Oh, this is the story of Phineas Gage who was stabbed in the brain
And once your frontal lobe has been destroyed, you can never go home again
[Verse 3]
Well the doctor told the family to prepare for Gage's death
'Cause the one you take before your head gets stabbed is usually your last breath
And Phineas spent the next few months in bed
In and out of consciousness with a swelling in his head

[Pre-Chorus 3]
But mere months after the accident, he walked right down his stairs, as if having lost a quarter of his brain left him no worse for wear...

[Chorus]
Oh, this is the story of Phineas Gage who was stabbed in the brain
And once your frontal lobe has been destroyed, you can never go home again

[Verse 4]
But unfortunately for Phineas, our story won't end there
The reason we still know his name is the strangest part of this affair
After his brain was scrambled, his friends and family said
"Oh, this is no longer Phineas, there's a new man here instead"

[Pre-Chorus 4]
And thus, we know that operating on the brain needn't not cause death
And that what makes a person who he is is not the heart, but the head...

[Chorus]
Oh, this is the story of Phineas Gage who was stabbed in the brain
And once your frontal lobe has been destroyed, you can never go home again
[Verse 5]
Oh, Phineas Gage was 37 years old when he finally made his way
Back to his home and family for he could tell the day of his death was fin'ly creeping up on him
'Cause he forgot to put the tamping sand in

[Pre-Chorus 5]
And as common in these cases of severe head trauma
Seizures took their toll and put an end to this drama...

[Outro]
And that was the story of Phineas Gage who had a rod pass through his head
And twelve years after the accident, he finally was dead
Oh, that was the story of Phineas Gage who probably should have died
But through a history about bodies healing, he somehow stayed alive
Yes, that was the story of Phineas Gage who changed not in sight
He suddenly became a jerk after being a nice guy
Yeah, that was the story of Phineas Gage who had a pitiful life
Despite the fact that a giant metal rod have passed right behind his eye...