The mink lost her furry scarf; she said it was stole
And the shoe salesman wanted to help cause he had so much sole
But then his whole left side fell off but he's all right now
And the pregnant heifer saw it happen; yeah, she had a cow

And the CO2 delivery guy always gives me gas
And I really hate mules cause they're so half-ass
Yeah, I really hate mules cause they're so half-ass

The bike can't stand up by itself; it says it's two tired
And the human cannonball was late for work and he got fired
And if your pants are too big, you'll get exposed in the end
And if you crash your fancy car, you'll see how a Mercedes bends

And the CO2 delivery guy always gives me gas
And I really hate mules cause they're so half-ass
Yeah, I really hate mules cause they're so half-ass


I forgot how to throw a boomerang, but then it came back to me
It's just like riding a bike, or playing with your Wii
And if you don't pay your exorcist, you'll get repossessed
And the pirate shot himself so he could have that dead man's chest

And the CO2 delivery guy always gives me gas
And I really hate mules, cause they're so half-ass
Yeah, I really hate mules, cause they're so half-ass