(Red)
I've read the works of countless ancient grumpy dudes who thought to much
Their books as long and laborious as final week's untimely clutch
They all complain of human nature, sovereignty, and social class
And speak with a precision gained from talking strictly out their ass

[spoken]
(Blue)
What the hell are you doing?

(Red)
Obviously, I'm singing about philosophers

(Blue)
No, but, why?

[sung]
(Red)
Now Kantian philosophy is duty based and rather dry
While Hegel covers history without the need to dignify
Rousseau has rather interesting views about the natural state

[spoken]
(Blue)
Aren't you supposed to be working on journey to the west part three?
(Red)
Technically, I'm supposed to be doing my home work
[pre-Chorus]
[sung]
(Red)
While Hobbes and Locke about the social contract can commiserate

[(Chorus)]
While Hobbes and Locke about the social contract can commiserate
While Hobbes and Locke about the social contract can commiserate
While Hobbes and Locke about the social contract can commiser-iserate

(Red)
Now Adam Smith discusses nation wealth and new economy
Dividing labour lengthwise with his moralised autonomy
These guys have never thought to use some shorter words or simpler touch
I've read the works of countless ancient grumpy dudes who thought too much

(Chorus)
These guys have never thought to use some shorter words or simpler touch
I've read the works of countless ancient grumpy dudes who thought too much

(Red)
Now Socrates elucidated practical philosophy
While Plato talked of ideal forms abstracted from frivolity
Then Aristotle's problematic views on femininity
Eclipsed his more intriguing thoughts on ethical activity
Protagoras thought man was measure, nothing held in absolutes
While Durkheim showed us money made us passionately destitute
Now Karl Marx believed that under wealthy rule the poor would be

[spoken]
(Blue)
Could you have chosen a song you can, y'know, sing?

(Red)
Shut up!

[sung]
(Red)
Oppressed and distanced from their work, a victim of the bourgeoise

(Chourus)
Oppressed and distanced from their work, a victim of the bourgeoise oppressed and distanced from their work, a victim of the bourgeoise oppressed and distanced from their work, a victim of the bourgeoi-rgeoise

(Red)
Now Webber thought that capital had roots among the protestants
Who's attitude towards work caused social rupture into opulence
Now frankly since i wright a lot, i know that I'm not one to judge
I've read the works of ancient grumpy dudes who thought to much

(Chourus)
Now frankly since i wright a lot, i know that I'm not one to judge
I've read the works of ancient grumpy dudes who thought to much
(Red)
Now Nietzsche said that god is dead, repeated it ad nauseum
Aquinas held another view, more typical of Christendom
Descartes perused a truth, a bit more strictly mathematical
And fathered modern math , while on a Netherlands sabbatical

Confucius said a lot of stuff but most of it was pretty rote, obey your elders, read the classics, if its cold out, wear a coat

Then Laozi founded Taoism, detached himself from worldly things

[Spoken]
(Red)
No no, see, this song, its not supposed to be sung perfectly

(Blue)
Uh huh

(Red)
You're supposed to be a little kinda all over the place

(Blue)
Sure

(Red)
Like, that's part of the charm

[sung]
(Red)
Proposed to follow natures flow, relaxed and wrote the Tao Te Ching

(Chours)
Proposed to follow natures flow, relaxed and wrote the Tao Te Ching
Proposed to follow natures flow, relaxed and wrote the Tao Te Ching
Proposed to follow natures flow, relaxed and wrote the Tao Te Tao Te Ching

(Red)
Well history is catalogued by scholars and philosophers, that college students analyse as tired lexicographers
"we have to reread history or else repeat it" and as such
I've read the works of countless ancient grumpy dudes who thought to much

(chorus)
"we have to reread history or else repeat it" and as such
I've read the works of countless ancient grumpy dudes who thought to much

[instrumental outro]