Fell upon a Tuesday when I had just got down to work
And everything went grey
So I caught a bus Wednesday, thought a vacation well-deserved
And all my edges frayed

Address your letters to:
Midlist author
You're never the best but you're never the worst
Why even bother?
You'll never be last but you'll never be first
Have another taste of fame when they mispronounce your name
When they mispronounce your name

Strolled along the seaside amid all the vulgar cheering crowds
And a boy cries for his dog
Stolen by a riptide his mother explains he surely drowned
As he weeps upon a log

And all my readers sing, oh:
Midlist author
You're never the best but you're never the worst
Why even bother?
You'll never be last but you'll never be first
Maybe one more glass of wine will make everything seem fine
Maybe everything will seem fine
And nobody's taking chances
And all those dwindling advances get you down
They get you down

Shuffling homeward, I check the receiver on the phone
No messages returned
So I started up a new thing, something about the sea, a boy, and his dog
And these were the first words

Dedication TK, oh
Midlist author, you're never the best but you're never the worst
Why even bother?
You'll never be last but you'll never be first
Maybe novel 22 will make them all remember you