[Verse 1: Damian Kulash]
When I was small, I believed in Santa Claus
Though I knew it was my dad
And I would hang up my stockings at Christmas
Open my presents, and I'd be glad
But the last time I played Father Christmas
I stood outside a department store
A gang of kids came over and mugged me
And knocked my reindeer to the floor
They said

[Chorus A: Damian Kulash]
Father Christmas, give us some money
Don't mess around with those silly toys
We'll beat you up if you don't hand it over
We want your bread so don't make us annoyed
Give all the toys to the little rich boys

[Verse 2]
Don't give my brother a Steve Austin outfit
Don't give my sister a cuddly toy
We don't want no Jinx or Monopoly money
We only want the real McCoy

[Chorus B: Damian Kulash]
Father Christmas, give us some money
We'll beat you up if you don't hand it over
Father Christmas, give us some money
Don't mess around with those silly toys
[Verse 3]
Give my daddy a job 'cos he needs one
He's got lots of mouths to feed
But if you've got one, I'll take a machine gun
So I can scare all the kids on the street

[Chorus A]

[Verse 4]
Have your self a very merry Christmas
Have yourself a good time
But remember all the kids who got nothing
As you're drinking down your wine

[Chorus A](x2)