[Verse 1]
I was distracted
And in traffic
I didn’t feel it when the earthquake happened
And it really got me thinking
What if the cities were sinking
And you guys were watching television
It’s been a year now
Think I’ve figured out how
How to survive as humanity dies out

[Pre-Chorus]
I know, you know, we know
You won’t fit in my spaceship and that’s fine
I know, you know, we know
Everybody but me is gonna die

[Chorus]
‘Cause if the world was ending I would go to Mars
Hop in a rocket, fly into the stars
I would avoid the flaming meteor
I would survive since I’m superior
If the world was ending I would not come over
I’d watch it blow up from my Mars land rover
Earth would look just like hell and shit
I’d say, damn, that is one fucked planet

[Chorus]
If the world was ending I would watch you die
I’d say sorry but I’m just one guy
And I’ve only got enough supplies
To last me the rest of my lifetime
If the world was ending I would grow a farm
I’d be like Matt Damon from the Mar- (-tian)
I’d live in luxury for all my days
Playing croquet in the red haze
[Verse 2]
Maybe I’ll even bring some test tubes with me
And multiply myself using my seed
I’ll be the founder of a colony
Made of the only guy who’s not a pleeb: me
Maybe I’ll populate Mars with these clones of me
And we’ll return to Earth in centuries
The world will be free of pain and disease
And without you pleebs, I will be free

[Bridge]
If the world was ending I would go to Mars
I would go to Mars
I would go to Mars
Among the stars with my Tesla cars
I would go to Mars
I would go to
Mars Mars Mars Mars

[Outro]
Don’t you guys realize that if I cared about you I’d be dead
Why would I come over when I could just go to Mars instead?