Ethan Jewell
Sick of talking
I think as time passes, the worms eat at my broken brain more
And I think as I grow closer to her, I'm more afraid of shutting the door
Am I the reason the cogs in your clock get clogged?
Or is it because of the raging past?
I wish for serenity, but I'm just met with more pain
I wish for dry necessities, but I'm just met with more rain
So watch me as I tear apart the notes written to save my soul
Watch me as I tear the sheets off of my bed that was supposed to hold both of us
But that's just how the rhythm goes
And watch me as I take a hammеr to our hearts as the beat slows
And watch mе as I bleed from every pore in my god-forsaken body
Because I made you hurt, I made you doubt the future
I'm a rose covered in thorns, and you just wanna pick me
The last one didn't give me water, so I wilted away
I'm a tree and you're the breeze, spreading its way through my limbs
But it's a shame all of my leaves fell off, because I didn't have a ray of sunshine
I can't practice what I preach, because I'm not listening to my lectures
I'm a diamond that turns to coal if you put me under too much pressure
I'm a tapestry left to fall apart on an abandoned wall
I'm a rotted stump, and maybe once I stood tall
I'm dropped belongings, left forgotten in the lost, but never found
I'm the echo of misheard screams that comes from all around
I know it's my fault
But I guess I'm just too afraid to admit it
I wanted gentle love
But I guess I'm just too scared to commit to it
Because what if people don't love me?
What if people don't trust me?
What if someone's above me?
What if I'm born again into unbroken skin?
Then what the hell will I do?
What if my breath isn't sucked away, and my heart doesn't beat too fast?
What if my tears don't rip out of my eyes, as if the clock is ticking towards eternity?
What if I didn't feel empty?
What if broken songs... weren't what sent me?
What if my brain is just begging for attention?
I need to be the star of the show, so I wait until then
What if I'm afraid to heal?
And what if none of this feels real?
So tell me if I can just sit here and listen
Because I am sick of talking