You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch
Author: Dr. Seuss

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch
You really are a heel
You're as cuddly as a cactus
You're as charming as an eel
Mr. Grinch

You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch
Your heart's an empty hole
Your brain is full of spiders
You've got garlic in your soul
Mr. Grinch

I wouldn't touch you, with a
Thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole

You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch
You have termites in your smile
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile
Mr. Grinch
Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the seasick crockodile

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch
You're a nasty, wasty skunk
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk
Mr. Grinch

The three words that best describe you best
Are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk."

You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch
You're the king of sinful sots
Your heart's a dead tomato splot
With moldy purple spots
Mr. Grinch

Your soul is an apalling dump heap overflowing
With the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
Rubbish imaginable
Mangled up in tangled up knots

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch
With a nauseaus super-naus
You're a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked horse
Mr. Grinch
You're a three decker saurkraut and toadstool
Sandwich
With arsenic sauce