Too $hort
Sure Shot Singles: Too Short - Cocktales
”Cocktales”
Jive Records
Production: Shorty B

When Too Short dropped “Freaky Tales” in the late 1980s, he started a franchise that would spawn more sequels and spin-offs than the Nightmare On Elm Street series. Somewhat of an anthem, the song gave Short a clear indication of what much of his audience wanted to hear from him. “These are are the tales, the freaky tales/there are the tales that I tell so well…,” he said, paving the way for his Gold debut Born To Mack. Seeing that it was the biggest hit off of his debut, Short Dog was compelled to release Freaky Tales Part II—possibly figuring that the original nine minute version might not have been enough to satisfy the Freakazoids. To cater to this crowd, he releases a similar-themed joint which extends the refrain: “…you don’t like my dirty raps you can go to hell/cause Short Dog’s on the mic tellin’ cock-tales.”

     While “Freaky Tales Part III” might have been a more appropiate title, “Cocktales” resumes where the last two installments left off. With his distinct, high-pitched, lazy flow, he kicks more of the humorous tales millions of Too Short fans grew up on, know and love.

     Relying on his original concept for “Freaky Tales,” Short selects the name of any girl that hasn’t been used on his previous “tales,” and describes a sex stunt: “She’s like another freak named Christina/bith so dumb I named her Misdemeanor/’cause it had to be a crime to be that dumb/I took her to my house and she let me cum/in her mouth; you know I did all that shit/she got my number, if she beep me I’ma call that bitch…”.

     Musically, “Cocktales” differs from the original “tales” in that Short replaces the tried and true with a new drumtrack and wavering bass. The funk-ass bassline coats the slow-paced track, remaining as prominent as Short’s lyrics. The combination is lethal and was well worth the wait.