[Intro]
RAP BATTLE!
THE GRINCH
VS
EBENEZER SCROOGE
BEGIN

[Verse 1: The Grinch]
There once was a posh prick dressed awfully prim
Though his face was two sizes too small for his chin
"Ring my Belle" thought the man, "With the ring I'll propose with"
Then she saw his Dickens and young Scrooge got ghosted
Ohh! You're turning to dust, the Who's down in Whoville are asking who's heard of this schmuck
A beast when I'm roasting, forget Christmas goose, today we shall serve a McDuck
Insult my appearance and this petty geezer's doomed, he left every reader and theatre spookеd
Have a white Christmas forevеr alone in your bed, Ebenezer Splooge

[Verse 2: Ebenezer Scrooge]
I'd prefer the presence of a phantom over this freak
Nobody's felt this much disappointment since the Grinch leaks
Put your money where your nose is, your business is atrocious
That plan doesn't work! Did you steal it from the homeless?
Even Cindy knows you're a children's clone that only fits the mold of all the Christmas tropes
Not a single soul would kiss this old abysmal troll when his feet are looking like a bunch of mistletoes
Besides Max you're hated, rolled in Santa's grave, you're all mucked up
You think your tax evasion and lack of patience, could match the green stacks I'm making? Bah Humbug!
People like you don't know how to treat my plate, I'm feasting on the mountain of the fees I'm paid
You couldn't bare a second before you're quitting the battle if you don't get babysitted by the CIA
Tried to amaze your crush with a shaver, but then you also bombed that
When the only thing you ever managed to properly cut was her contact
[Verse 3: The Grinch]
At least I've been trying to gain some attention, you're quietly kicking the bucket
Got a stick up your buttocks, no wonder you hung out around Muppets
Take a quick peek at Tiny Tim, please, the kids' kidneys are getting poisoned
I'd suggest calling Dr. Seuss, but you're too stingy to book an appointment
Raps tighter than my shoes, Mount Crumpit MC's crumble crumpets to pieces
This cabbage head is screwed, a lime-coloured G's giving limeys a squeezing
I'm sick of this twit, the age must have gone to your head, you're delusional
I was annoyed by the Whos and their noise, so for dead silence, I went to your funeral

[Verse 4: Ebenezer Scrooge]
I should've known you'd flop another altercation
Your ratings are dropping harder than the surplus population
So before he can escape, I'll grab this bloody mongrel and call for him to be euthanized
'Fore I employ some hunters to go trap this Oscar the Couch and once we loot the prize
And I'll leave you dehumanized and every single Who that died
We'll use the hide as a Christmas tree to sell to the wealthy people of humankind at a properly boosted price

[Verse 5: Krampus]
Gruss... Vom... Krampus... EYAHAHAHA!
Did someone call for fire on the hook? This pair of horrid grumps have fueled the rage within me
So I can assure you that your Christmas won't be merry when I'm poppin down your chimney
Cuz I'm Cappin the list of this capitalist, you dug your own grave, now you're buried
But I gotta say, out of all the Christmas Carreys, I find Mariah more scary
Booh! Attacking your dreams like the Sandman
I'll cram these pussies right into my knapsack
Sleigh the track with your egregious bars
I've seen better writing on greeting cards
You think you're finding closure to redeem yourself? This miserable miser's never getting near it
After all the only presence in your dining hall you'll ever get are that of haunting spirits
Skin to cash to envy, green will always be the thing that's causing you to rot away
And once you start to turn to bones you'll wish it was a nightmare when you try to jack the holidays
You'll be shelved cuz I got no hope, both your hearts never really showed growth
So let's see how you try to change your view of the world when you're stuck inside my snow globe (Oh!)
[Outro]
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
THE NEXT RAP BATTLE IS ON THE WAY!