[Verse 1]
You said, "I will build you a bed of cactus
Where you can sleep
When the night is too sharp"
I said, "I will cover you with wax
And light your hair like a wick
When the night is too cold"

[Verse 2]
You don't think of me as often as I'd like you to
But when you do
It's of me looking for you on the ship
The plane I am waiting on
Has your face printed on the wings
When it crashes, I will eat the paint off

[Verse 3]
I'm gonna spank your ass so hard
You'll hate the wig master
But I'll put two pillows on your dining room chair
You're like a parrot
Something that belongs to me
And not to you

[Verse 4]
Loneliness isn't being alone
It's when someone loves you
And you don't have it in you to love them back
Look at my hair
It's a dirty little mop crying
For you to send it away
[Verse 5]
All a guy needs
Is a chance to pull off my clothes
And snicker, "Try harder"
If you mail me a toy
I will use it
But that's the most I have to offer

[Verse 6]
"Do you want to see my panties?"
Is the last thing
I will ever say to you
"I want to finger every teenager I see,"
Is the last thing
You say to me

[Outro]
Don't make fun of my night out