Caroline Konstnar
The Nice Guy Song
Your heart is like a condom
Once you break it
You have a lifetime of pain
I’m the total package
Handsome, funny, and smart
I just wanted some spare coochie to bring me out of the dark
Then I saw this internet girl who was a total grand slam
I slid into her DM’s and said I’ll break your Hoover Dam
She didn’t respond
That stupid broad
I’m such a nice guy
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I just wanted to respect you
What did I do to deserve this fate?
I don’t want sex, just a dinner date
Spare coochie
Spare coochie
You’re such a beauty, won’t you fuck me?
You wouldn’t know a good guy e-e-even if he if he hit you in the face
And maybe I’ll hit you in the face to prove a point about how I’m such a nice guy
And how you’re such a
Dumb bitch