Eric Idle
Act II Finale
[ARTHUR, spoken]
Lady, will you marry me?

[LADY OF THE LAKE, spoken]
I thought you'd never ask

(Scene changes to the Vegas Drive-Up Wedding Chapel and the Girls enter in short Wedding Dresses)

[GIRLS]
We are not yet wed
And we're nearly at the end
It is time that we
Went and found a friend
Is there someone who
Can help us in out quest?
We're already dressed
Although we're not yet wed

(Enter the boys with top hats and tails)

[MEN]
We are not yet dead
That’s the best thing to be said
We are not yet dead
So we might as well get wed
Could it be much worse
Is marriage such a curse?
Might as well get married
Cos we are not yet wed
(Wedding March. Enter Lancelot and Herbert married in great fashions)

[HERBERT]
So you see it’s all a show, happy ending and all
And that just makes me want to sing…

(They all look for Father but he doesn’t come on so Herbert starts to sing…)

[HERBERT]
When you’re lost
On life’s trail
And you feel doomed to fail
Do not fail
Find Your Male
Find Your Male
That’s your Grail

[LANCE, spoken]
Just think Herbert, in a thousand years time this will still be controversial

(Enter Robin, suitably dressed in white tie and tails)

[ROBIN, spoken]
And I too have found my grail

[ENSEMBLE, spoken]
What’s that?
[ROBIN, spoken]
Musical Theatre!

[ROBIN, sung]
You can sing
You can dance
And you won’t soil your pants
In your white tie and tail
Find your Grail
Find your Grail

[ENSEMBLE]
Hallelujah!
A Broadway wedding!

(Enter Arthur and Guinevere married. Guinevere is in a gorgeous wedding gown)

[ARTHUR & GUINEVERE]
So be strong

[ENSEMBLE]
Here comes the bride

[ARTHUR & GUINEVERE]
Keep right on
[ENSEMBLE]
Here comes the groom

[ARTHUR & GUINEVERE]
To the end of your song

[ENSEMBLE]
Hallelujah

[GUINEVERE]
Do not fail
Find your Male

[ARTHUR]
Dressed in ‘mail’
Find your Grail

[ENSEMBLE]
Sing Hallelujah they’ve found their grail

[ARTHUR]
Life is really up to you
You must choose what to pursue

[ENSEMBLE]
A Broadway wedding

[GUINEVERE]
Set your mind on what to find
And there’s nothing you can’t do

[ALL]
Go and find your grail

[ARTHUR & GUINEVERE]
So keep right to the end
You’ll find your goal my friend

[ENSEMBLE]
Find your friend!

[ALL]
Then the prize you won’t fail
Find your Grail
Find your Grail!

[FATHER, spoken]
Stop that. Stop that. Stop it! No more bloody singing…

(Lancelot whacks him on the head)

[ENSEMBLE]
For this is the Show that ends like this!