[Verse 1: Cecily Strong, Steve Carell]
Caught his eye on Turkey Day
As we both ate pumpkin pie
She flashed a little smile my way
Can she tell that I am shy

[Verse 2: Cecily, Steve, Both]
I took his hand, she took my hand
We walked into the shed
Our clothes came off
We never said a word
My thing got scared
And my face got red

[Verse 3: Cecily, Steve, Both]
Side by side, in the n***
That's how we spent our night
Never touching, sometimes crying
Pretending we're all right
His thing woke up, for just a sec
But then got scared again
The sun came up, the squirrel walked in
We laughed and cried again

[Interlude: Cecily, Steve]
It's morning, I have to go
But I'm embarrassed, I failed you
Haha, you didn't fail me
You tried your best, and I love you
Goodbye!
Wait, what's your name?
Wow! What a Turkey Day night!
[Verse 4: Cecily, Steve, Both + Leslie Jones]
He never saw her face again
And she never saw his thing
Now every Turkey Day that comes
They have this cool rock song to sing

[Chorus: Beck Bennett, Kate McKinnon, (Kenan Thompson), All]
Now every Turkey Day that comes
They think of how they missed their chance
(Our lives are short, our love is real)
Now we do the turkey dance
Our lives are short, our love is real
Now we do the turkey dance

[Outro: Steve]
Life is short, love is real
Now we do the turkey dance