[Verse 1]
Davenports and kettle drums
And swallowtail coats
Tablecloths and patent leather shoes
Bathing suits and bowling balls
And clarinets and rings
All this radio really needs is a fuse

[Chorus]
A tinker or tailor, a soldier's things
His rifle, his boots full of rocks
Oh, and this one is for bravery
Oh, and this one is for me
And everything's a dollar in this box

[Verse 2]
Cuff links and hubcaps
Trophies and paperbacks
It's good transportation
But the brakes aren't so hot
Neckties and boxing gloves
This jackknife is rusted
You can pound that dent out on the hood

[Chorus]
A tinker or tailor, a soldier's things
His rifle, his boots full of rocks
Oh, and this one is for bravery
Oh, and this one is for me
And everything's a dollar in this box