The Residents
Walter Westinghouse
Walter Westinghouse went to town, he found a friend today
His friend was peeling ceiling wax as he heard Walter say:

"Love me tender, love me sweet, love me like I love my feet
Sit me down with Ezra Pound, but don't forget to eat
Or cause a country boy to cook a carrot or a cake
But don't forget the feelings of a friend are hard to fake"

He lives a life of April leaves, espondent to the thought
That "Often things you caught or bought were not the ones you sought"

Now his December is a sender singing songs he knows
But all the words are "cheese" and "please" and "boy, I hope it snows"

He buys the bacon and the achin' in his heart is due
To overcoats and Quaker Oats and if his wife should sue
"Wanda, Wanda where you went and tell me what'd you take?"
"I took the tongue of Philip Jung and left it in the lake"
"But my dear I think I fear that you had lost your way"
"'Cause scrambled eggs, 'cause scrambled eggs were all he'd let me bake
He said, 'Your trust is like a crust, too brittle and too thin'
I said, 'You're full of n***a nuts and look like Rin Tin Tin'"
"Is common ground not ever found but flees from dad to son
Or is it just believing that the evening steals the sun?"
"I said, 'Your snoot is full of poot, and should be in a shoe'
And then I said, 'your stupid bed is better off than you'"
Eat exuding oinks upon
And bleed decrepit broken bones
At caustic spells of hell
(Huh, what's that, dear? Huh?)
Eat exuding oinks upon
And bleed decrepit broken bones
At caustic spells of hell
(Eat exuding oinks upon
And bleed decrepit broken bones
At caustic spells of hell?)
Yes, eat exuding oinks upon
And bleed decrepit broken bones
At caustic spells of hell
Eat exuding oinks upon
And bleed decrepit broken bones
At caustic spells of hell
Eat exuding oinks upon
And bleed decrepit broken bones
At caustic spells of hell
Eat exuding oinks upon
And bleed decrepit broken bones
At caustic spells of hell
Eat exuding oinks upon
And bleed decrepit broken bones
At caustic spells of hell
Eat exuding oinks upon
And bleed decrepit broken bones
At caustic spells of hell
Eat exuding oinks upon
And bleed decrepit broken bones
At caustic spells of hell
Eat exuding oinks upon
And bleed decrepit broken bones
At caustic spells of hell
Eat exuding oinks upon
And bleed decrepit broken bones
At caustic spells of hell
Eat exuding oinks upon
And bleed decrepit broken bones
At caustic spells of hell
And he sees the threads of worn out treads
And calls his color true and calls his color true
And calls his color true and calls his color true
And calls his color true and calls his color true
And calls his color true and calls his color true