[Introduction: Draggle]
Why sister dear
You're looking rather ill
I fear you aren't feeling at your best
I hope you haven't come down with a chill
Perhaps you need to take a little rest?

[Spoken: Draggle & Reeka]
But what about all the work we have to do?
You're not gonna do it all alone are you?
Oh Reeka darling, what are sisters for?
Not to worry, not to worry!

[Chorus: Draggle]
I'll do the dirty work
I'll handle all the dirty work
You go relax in your room
I'll collect the muck and mire
I wouldn't want you to perspire
All you have to do is get the phlume!

[Spoken: Draggle & Reeka]
The phlume? Me?!
Why not? I'll be doing everything else... you're not that sick!
You're right. In fact, suddenly, I'm feeling a whole lot better!
[Verse: Reeka]
Draggle, dear, I just now had a flash
I still owe you a birthday gift or two!
I've suffered from a lack of ready cash
But now I'd like to make it up to you!

[Chorus: Reeka]
I'll do the dirty work
I'll take on all the dirty work
Each humdrum job I'll assume!
I'll be working overtime
Collecting mould and filth and slime
All you have to do is get the phlume!

[Spoken: Draggle & Reeka]
The phlume? Me?!
Happy birthday!
Reeka, dear, you're really much too kind!
Let's just divvy up the list
Oh nonsense, I don't mind!
But if you really want to?
I insist!

[Chorus: Draggle, Reeka and both]
We'll both do the dirty work
We'll both do the dirty work
Everyone should do her share!
It's really only fair!
[Spoken: Draggle & Reeka]
I'll collect the greenish mould... hmm, yeuch!
I'll collect the blackish muck
I'll collect the furry mildew! Just my luck, the mildew's stuck!
Yuck, yuck!
I'll go find the yellow fungus
I'll go get the silver slime!

[Bridge: Both]
Sharing dirty work among us does the job in half the time!
You see it's great when we co-operate!

[Chorus: Draggle, Reeka & both]
I'll do the dirty work!
I'll gladly do the dirty work!
No need to fret or fight or feud or fume!
I'll do the dirty work!
I'll gladly do the dirty work!
So long as someone else
So long as someone else
So long as someone else gets the phlume!