Boyinaband
Gollum vs Smeagol Battle Rap
[Gollum]
We wants it, we needs it. Must have the Precious
They stole it from us

[Smeagol]
Yes, well, we is no better

[Gollum]
Smeagol?

[Smeagol]
Yo, G, it's me, your OG equal
We need to be peaceful with these people, not evil

[Gollum]
You is always too weak, you is always too feeble
I'll hope these Shire folk tie a rope round their vile throats
I alone deserve to wear ring bearer's necklace

[Smeagol]
No, we knows it only brings terror, precious!
No, we must protect the Master, guide him on his course

[Gollum]
Those sneaky little Hobbitses? Wicked, tricksy, false!
They lies and they cheats, they finds and they thiefs!
Only thing that we could finally need is...
The Precious... So let us lead him deceitfully
Smeagol so we could be-
[Smeagol]
No! No!
Master's my friend! Not false, he is true!

[Gollum]
You don't have any friends. Nobody likes you
Not the fat one or the Master, Not the sun or the moon

[Smeagol]
Not listening, Not listening!

[Gollum]
You's sickening
Besides what kind of friend ties us to leashes?

[Smeagol]
But when we said it burnses, the Master released us
We swear on the Precious to lead these Hobbitses, Gollum

[Gollum]
What is this nonsense
We gots them believing a lie
We gots to be deceitful and why?
Don't you remember that Hobbits is tricksy?
Don't you remember the Bagginses history?
[Smeagol]
Yes, we does
But the Precious cursed us and the Master
Your lines are dark but my riddles are darker
I comes first and follows after
I ends life, I kills laughter

[Gollum]
Biting my rhymes with your white horses on a red hill
Champ them, stamp them, then you stand still

[Smeagol]
Don't bring up the Bagginses riddles
Just stop it!

[Gollum]
Well he was the thief with what's in his pocket
It cheatses, it loses Precious, we should have eats it
Don't stews it, a raw and wriggling feastses

[Smeagol]
Tasty treatses, tasty treatses

[Gollum]
But so alone now, now we weepses
[Smeagol]
We hates it, we hates it, we hates it forever!

[Gollum]
So we takes it, we takes it, we takes it the Precious
We were banished, but it's ours to reclaim
Like that maggotses Bagginses did when he came

[Smeagol]
Before we were betrayed

[Gollum]
Before we left the cave

[Smeagol]
Before meeting with Shelob and we would evade her

[Gollum]
Before we were interrogated and were made to
Persuade Sauron of our honest mistake

[Smeagol]
It was painful!

[Gollum]
We remembers...
Before being caught by Aragorn
And taken to Gandalf the Gray

[Smeagol]
Before we even heard of Mirkwood and escaped

[Gollum]
Before we walked into Moria to wait for the day
We laid eyes on the prize on the Precious again
Face it Smeagol, you's simply evil
Don't forget that you can be lethal

[Smeagol]
No...

[Gollum]
Don't forget what you did to Deagol
Murderer...

[Smeagol]
Go away...

[Gollum]
Go away?! Don't forget what they said!
On our own birthday
Murderer they called us and drove us away
You hopeless disgrace, you-

[Smeagol]
I hate you... I hate you!

[Gollum]
Where would you be without me? (*Gollum Gollum*)
Probably all dead... Probably all rotten
I saved us. It was me. We survived because of me!
We's alive because I rised above the cries you used to weep
We's alive because I picked and catched the fish we had to eat

[Smeagol]
We's alive because of you maybe before
We needed you then but not anymore

[Gollum]
What did you say?

[Smeagol]
Is something wrong with your brain?
Master looks after us

[Gollum]
After supplanting us!
We cannot takes it! We needs my Precious!

[Smeagol]
No, we don't need you
And we don't need your vengeance
Leave now and never come back

[Gollum]
No! Trusts us, you don't want that!

[Smeagol]
Leave now and never come back!

[Gollum]
Argh! Don't leave me, Smeagol, over one rap!

[Smeagol]
Leave now and never come back!