Nathan Lane
When You’re an Addams
GOMEZ (spoken):
Ah, the intoxicating smell of the graveyard.
Once a year when the last leaf of autumn falls,
we gather to honor the great cycle of life and death.
Come, every member of our clan - living,
dead, and, undecided - and let us celebrate what it is to be an Addams.
(sung)
When you're an Addams
You need to have a little moonlight
When you're an Addams
You need to feel a little chill
You have to see the world in shades of grey
You have to put some poison in your day

MORTICIA (spoken):
That's the way

BOTH:
When you're an Addams

GOMEZ:
You need to have a sense of humor

MORTICIA:
Ha
BOTH:
When you're an Addams

MORTICIA:
You need to have a taste for death

BOTH:
Who cares about the world outside
And what it wants from you
When you're an Addams
You do what Addams always do!

ADDAMS FAMILY:
When you're an Addams

GOMEZ:
You gotta have a lotta passion

ADDAMS FAMILY:
When you're an Addams

MORTICIA:
You need to really love your wife

GOMEZ (spoken):
Several times a day
ADDAMS FAMILY:
You're happy when your toes are in the mud

FESTER/GRANDMA:
You smile a bit the moment you smell blood

ADDAMS FAMILY:
AA-OOOH!!!
When you're an Addams

WEDNESDAY:
You need to grab a bow and arrow

ADDAMS FAMILY:
When you're an Addams

PUGSLEY:
You need a moment to explode

GRANDMA:
Just pour a potion

FESTER:
Flip the switch

FESTER/GRANDMA/WEDNESDAY/PUGSLEY:
And wait 'till things get hot
ADDAMS FAMILY:
When you're an Addams
You have to really stir the pot

FESTER:
So keep your sunshine
And keep your glee

GOMEZ:
Country music in Tennessee

WEDNESDAY:
Keep your laughter

GRANDMA:
And MTV

ADDAMS FAMILY:
And all will be all right
Give us shadows and give us gloom
Broken glass in a motel room
Something fun we can all exhume
And give it all tonight!

GOMEZ (spoken):
And on this special night, beneath our Family Tree, we summon our beloved Ancestors.

ANCESTORS:
Once torn asunder
Down six feet under
We get to gather here

MALE ANCESTOR ONE:
Dead for forever

MALE ANCESTOR TWO:
Bled from whatever

BOTH:
Called now to reappear

MALE ANCESTOR THREE/FEMALE ANCESTOR ONE:
Every cadaver
Start the palaver
Once in an Addams year

ANCESTORS:
Hold your decaying
Hear what we're saying
Time now to give a cheer

GOMEZ (spoken):
Line Dance!
Bunny Hop!
Do the Twist!
Rigor Mortis!

ALL:
When you're an AddamsMALE ANCESTORS:
 
That's right!
When you're an Addams
Late night! Out with the Addams!
 
With one biteADDAMS FAMILY/FEMALE ANCESTORS:
 
You have a very special duty
 
 
When you're an AddamsALL:
You're obligated to the clan
It's family first and family last
And family by and by
When you're an Addams
The standard answers don't apply
When you're an Addams
You do what Addams do or-

LURCH:
Ughhh

ALL:
Die!