Alan Menken
The Rhode Island Tango
[FRED]
God, I hate this room
Hate that chair, hate that couch
Hate that ugly lamp, and that table
And-Ouch!
So the day begins
Knocking up my shins
Here in Pissonit, Rhode Island!

[CAROLINE]
God, I hate to shop
Bumble-Bee, Minute Maid
Coupons, two cents off
Stella Doro and Raid
Every day's a bore
Every step's a chore
Here in Pissonit, Rhode Island!

[FRED & CAROLINE]
Someday, I'll place an ad

[FRED]
White woman wanted

[CAROLINE]
White woman seeking
[FRED]
For good times with toys

[CAROLINE]
Cooperative boys

[FRED & CAROLINE]
No perverts or prudes need apply
Someday, I'll place an ad

[FRED]
White male, well-mannered

[CAROLINE]
White female, desperate

[FRED]
Would like fun and games

[CAROLINE]
Send photos, no names

[FRED & CAROLINE]
Expect confidential reply!
I could place an ad in a bad magazine
Fifteen words or less
No I couldn't, I mean
Someone would find out
Whisper, point me out
[CAROLINE]
So I'll walk on eggs

[FRED]
Bandage my legs

[FRED & CAROLINE]
Here in Pissonit, Rhode Island!
Caroline and Fred
Might as well be dead!

[MUSHARI]
Found my friends at last
Perfect peas in a pod
I'll get quit a slice
When they're richer than God
Norman's got the deal
Norman's at the wheel
Bound for Pissonit, Rhode Island! 
 
 
 
 
[FRED]
God
I'm in despair[CAROLINE]
God, I hate this town
It isn't right, it isn't fun
It isn't here, it isn't there
It isn't me, it isn't him
It isn't us, it isn't fair
It isn't fair, it isn't fair
It isn't fair, it isn't fair 
 
 
[MURASHI]
I'm almost there
I'm almost there
Almost there
Almost there[ALL]
Pissonit, Pissonit, Pissonit, Pissonit, Pissonit
Beware!